A New Year, A New Note! part 2

What I was alluding to earlier and did not get to was that I am at an impasse. I’m at that proverbial fork in the road again. No that’s not right. I’m not at a fork in the road. I know where I want to go. The problem is that I think that I may have a long road ahead of me before I get to where I want to get to. But I guess that everyone needs to pay dues of one type or another.

The point that I was getting at earlier was that I feel like a fool. I’ve felt like that since my second week when I realized that I was probably only hired because I didn’t have any experience teaching and therefore didn’t know what I was getting myself into.

I was so enthusiastic only 6 weeks ago when I first started. Even though I only wanted to be a self-contained teacher of a Special Day Class (SDC) for as long as it took to get the experience that I need to move on to a different job as a Resource teacher (RSP), I still wanted to do the best job that I could. But this school, and I’m sure many others, are so full of sh**.  Now, I’m beginning to think that being an RSP teacher will be fraught with bulls*** also. This is the reason that I stayed a housewife for so long. I didn’t want to work until I knew what I wanted to do and felt like it would be what was the best thing for me. I guess you can’t control life. It has its own plan.
Although I know what I want to do, I have been vacillating back and forth as to whether or not I want to move to a new school district. I have to ask myself questions though. Will it make a difference if I do? Is it only L.A.U.S.D. that is like this or is it all districts? Will it always be like this? Will I always have such an unsupportive administration? Will it matter, after awhile, that they are unsupportive? Why do administrators try to bully new staff members?

I started off on a horribly, bad note, so I can only conclude that it will end on a better one because I can only go up from here. I am thoroughly optimistic that God will bring me through this. I’m just going through the ringer now, but every beginning isn’t always the best. Here’s to the future and a better note. Let’s see what it holds.

Until next time!

A New Year, A New Note!

I have a lot on my mind. Although I love teaching, I don’t love the bulls***. It is not the children. Even though they act up, they are not the problem. The problem is the administration. I can’t see this being specific to the school that I’m at. I know that this problem is bigger than the school that I’m at.

I am living my worst fear. Even though I am doing a remarkable job, this job is not what I had in mind. My perfect job was as a K-2 Resource Specialist (RSP). However, all of my paperwork took so long that there were no RSP jobs available at the time that I applied.

I kinda’ knew that that was what was going to happen because I had started having dreams about myself being in a self-contained classroom. So when there were no RSP jobs available, I wasn’t really taken by surprise. I was forewarned.

Okay, on to the point. I have had a change of plans. Before I started my husband asked me what my ultimate goal was. At the time, I told him that it was to teach. Not to become an Assistant Principal or anything else. I just wanted to teach, I told him.

My plans have changed considerably. I have had such a negative experience in such a short time that I have decided that yes, I do want to still teach, but in some other capacity. I would love to work for a private organization as a studio teacher or an itinerant teacher where I don’t have anyone hovering over my shoulder.

My overall goal has not changed. I still very much want to teach and make a difference in children’s lives; especially those with learning disabilities. However, because of my low tolerance for bulls*** I’m just not sure that I will last long in the school district system.

I almost feel like a quitter, but I don’t because I’m being true to myself. I would feel more like a quitter if I gave up on my dreams of having a job that I love to go to despite what’s going on. I just wonder how differently I would look at things if I would have had great administrators and my situation would have been ideal. However, I know that life doesn’t work like that. So, I’ll just have to deal with things until they are not the way they are.

Until next time people!