Yet.. Another.. One.. Of… Those Days!

Today was yet another one of those days. It was horrible. Let me start at the beginning: One of my hispanic students thought that it was okay to call another one of my students, who’s black, a ni**a’.

“What did you say?” I asked.

“Nuthin’. I didn’t say nuthin’, ” he said.

I heard what you said. You are outta’ here. You need to go.

I sent him straight to the Top Dog, who sent him to the school counselor who I heard may as well have given him a lollipop and let him play on the slide.

Result: He was back in my class in twenty minutes.

Did he behave after that? Of course not. I had to send him out yet again.

I had to ask myself, one more time, “What the hell am I doing here?”

Am I doing the right thing? Am I really supposed to be here doing this?

I wish that these and so many more will be answered…whenever. I just don’t know if I can hand on that long. I can and will make it through.

So until next time people! I will be holding on!!!

Patience Is A Virtue? Isn’t It?

I have had a restful, almost stress-free Christmas vacation. Now that I’ve snapped back to reality it’s a little weird. I mentioned that, over the break, I was at an all day faculty meetings. I was pleasantly surprised. I did not want to go, but I am glad that I did. I had a chance to plan with the other third grade teachers. This took a significant amount of stress off of me.

Now that planning isn’t hanging over my head, I can move on to mastery of the content. We (me and the other teachers) were even able to plan a science project together.

Coordinating my lessons with them will serve two purposes. First, as I mentioned earlier, it takes a lot of stress off of me. Secondly, it will help my students feel like they’re just like everyone else; not different like everyone tells them they are. This will hopefully make them feel that they’re connected to the large community.

I am eventually going to get to the point. Well, I was thanking the other teachers for helping me plan when I started talking about how I felt in the beginning. They started telling me how they felt during their first year. One teacher said that she couldn’t believe that she was getting paid to experiment on these kids. I thought that was so funny because I feel the exact same way. I feel like a great scientist because I am starting an experiment that will surely last for years until I finally feel confident enough.

Will that day ever come?

Okay, I’m being silly. Of course I know that day will come. I’m just being impatient. After all, I’ve only been a teacher since November 6. I guess I’m just going to have to be patient. After all. Isn’t it a virtue?

Until next time people!