I just realized a minute ago that I am doing the same thing that I was doing last year-avoiding. I have 2 homework assignments due tomorrow which I have not even started on. Instead of doing them though I have been doing some oh so important web surfing on the gossip blogs.
Hopefully now that I realize what I’m doing I can fix it. The whole problem is that I am overwhelmed again. I feel like quitting. Last Wednesday I wanted to throw down my whiteboard marker while I was teaching, walk out my classroom and walk out of the school. It was so bad.
I am starting to wish that I never started teaching. I read many blogs and have been reading pretty much the same thing that I’m writing. It is so damned depressing. I don’t know how much longer I can last.
One thing I know that I need to stop doing is biting off more than I can chew. Sometimes the situation is so bad that you can only take it one minute at a time. Well, my situation is like that now. When I go down to the yard at 8:00 a.m. to pick up my students, I feel like just walking out the front door instead of going to the class. I know that I can’t so, I am just going to take it minute by minute until I don’t have to anymore.
That is the best I can do right now because I really hate doing this right now. It’s not the teaching that I hate. I love that. My biggest problem is the lack of consequences when the students misbehave. I send them out the room and nothing. No suspension. Nothing. They can almost get away with anything. So, as I stated above, I am just going to take it one minute at a time. I have to to keep my sanity. That is why I am writing this right now even though it is filled with so much negativity. If I don’t, I feel like I am going to lose my mind.
I am trying to encourage myself as I write this because I have to work. I can’t quit at the beginning of the second month of school. Can I?