I Now Know What’s Wrong With Me!

Lately I’ve been such a slacker. I know I’ve said that before but I really mean it this time. I haven’t written down my lesson plans in about a month or more. I really don’t remember how long. I even misplaced my T.E. and wasn’t too worried about it. I could have gotten another one, but just wasn’t that motivated to do so. I have been feeling an overall “kiss my ass” kind of feeling. I knew that I could possibly get a bad Stull evaluation, but didn’t care. I knew that I could get written up for not turning in my lesson plans, but didn’t care. Like I said, I have had a general feeling of… I don’t know what. I just know that I was tired of caring when I seemed to be the only one. I was tired of trying to help people who didn’t want to be helped. Tired to trying to do the right thing when I seemed to be punished for it.
However, after talking to my mentor teacher today, she made me feel so much better. I shared with her that I just didn’t care like I did last year when I was intent on saving the world. Well, that was last year when I thought it could be done. Now, I don’t! The only thing I want to do this year is to make it through the year and possibly get a job in another location that doesn’t have as many behavior problems. I just want some peace. I want something in my life to be easy. I want not to have to deal with something like this every year. I am tired. And this is only my 2nd year of teaching. How do I move on and past this as I get my second wind? I don’t know, but I’m going to do it because this is what I want to do. I am living my dream. This is what I went back to school for.
So, as usual, I digress; back to the lecture at hand. She made me feel much better when she told me that she knew what I was going through. She said that I was discouraged because I didn’t feel like I was making a difference.
“Okay, that’s true,” I said to her as I thanked her for not making me feel like I was a total slacker who’s about to have a nervous breakdown.
So, I now know the reason why I’ve been feeling the way I’m feeling. Once you know what they problem is, you can do something about it. Now, I know what my problem is so I can begin to work on fixing it. Thank you Jesus and Hallelujah!

I Hope I Can Get a Sub!

I asked three subs today if they could take my class tomorrow. They said no. Two of them were new subs so I took a chance that they didn’t know Nu. However, being at the school for the day was enough to discourage them from taking my class. “Okay was all I could say as I sighed a sigh that spoke volumes.” I hope the class doesn’t get split up tomorrow. But, ya’ know what, I can’t worry about that. I have to take care of myself before I can be any good to them or anyone else. My body is starting to break down. I am burnt out. I really need a break. So I am taking it. Tomorrow I am going to sleep in. I deserve it.