Halloween by Jerry Seinfeld

Since today is Halloween, I decided to review a book about Halloween, called Halloween (2003). This book is hilarious. Of course it is. It’s by none other than Jerry Seinfeld. He perfectly captures the spirit of Halloween. He begins the books by saying… When you’re a kid you can eat amazing amounts of food. All I ate when I was a kid was candy. Just candy, candy, candy. And the only really clear thought I had as a kid was get candy.

In the grocery store. In the mini-mart. At his grandparent’s house. Looking out the window. Alllllllll the time. That’s all he thought about was how to get his next fix of candy. So, imagine his glee over discovering Halloween where, for a whole night, people just give it away. His young mind couldn’t process that. Are you serious? They’re just giving it away. The fools!!!!

The first couple of years he made his own costumes. A ghost one year. A hobo the next. However, those were just the beginning. He was in training for the real thing- Superman. One day he was going to get the real Superman Halloween costume from the store. You know the one…The cardboard box….the cellophane top…mask included in the set.

He then reminisces about the rubber band on back of the mask…that broke almost as soon as you put it on. Then you had to get your friends to wait up as you tried to fix it. “Because”, he says, “when you’re little, your whole life is up. You want to grow up. Everything is up!

Wait UP! Hold UP! Shut UP! Mom, I’ll clean UP! Just let me stay UP!

So, the day finally comes when he convinces his parents to buy him an official Superman Halloween-store costume. Well, what do you think happened? Did it fit just the way he wanted it to? Did he get all the candy he wanted? I guess you’re going to have to read it and find out for yourself. You’ll like it. It’s too cute! As always, pick it up at your local library or bookstore.

***P.S. This comes with an audio CD, which is a live performance of the book. As I thought. As I was talking to Phillip, I thought about how this book read like a classic Seinfeld script. I listened to the CD and my suspicions were confirmed.***

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Happy Halloween everyone. Have fun, but above all, be safe!

Benchwarmer? I Think Not!

I say, no, no, no. A THOUSAND TIMES NO! My dear readers, I say this very emphatically, “I am no benchwarmer!”

True, I have been sidelined with this no job having thing. I truly did not think it would take this long.

True, I did think I would have a job by now. I was probably even a little cocky. However, I am back to my old humble self.

True, I have been a bit discouraged, of late, but I am no benchwarmer. I am not the guy who will never get any playing time in the game. EVER!!!

I am not the slacker who rests on their laurels. I have had tremendous success in the past and I will have even more tremendouser (That’s right, I wrote tremendouser) success in the future. I push myself to the limit. I want to squeeze every bit of learning out of a kid that I can.

Believe me, dear readers. I am down on the sidelines right now, but I am definitely not out of the game. That bench will soon be cold!!!

Attn: Displaced L.A.U.S.D. teachers, Part 2

Well, obtaining that list of available teaching positions from L.A.U.S.D. is going to be easier said than done. What is the problem????? Well, the problem is that access to L.A.U.S.D. e-mail is necessary to obtain the list.

Other problem????? If you’re not a current employee, you do not have access to L.A.U.S.D. e-mail.

I tried for half the morning, calling over & over, on hold for more than 30 minutes each time, only to be told (each time) that I could not gain access to the e-mail.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but there is some sort of disconnect here. I need access to the e-mail in order to obtain this oh so elusive list, in order to be gainfully employed again, so I can gain access to said e-mail. ^^^ (Those are raised eyebrows, by the way).

I need help. I need a job. If anyone reading this has access to this list, please let me in on some of the action. Please. A teacha’ needs a job. You can e-mail me @ specialedandme@gmail.com.

Don’t let me down.

The Plot Chickens by Mary Jane and Herm Auch

The Plot Chickens (2009) by Mary Jane & Herman Auch was the cutest little book.I really liked it because it can be used during English/Language Arts time to help children with the writing process. The illustrations were a very colorful mixed media mishmash. They were quite enjoyable to look at. Now, on to the review.

The story begins with Henrietta Hen who loves to read. She loves to read so much, she’s read all the books on her farm. There’s nothing more to read. Now, she must go into town to the library to get more. She goes into the library & gets in line. As she gets to the counter, the librarian tells her that they have nothing for chickens there. Henrietta indignantly clucks at the top of her lungs. BUK, BUK, BUK!

“Well, why did you say so?” says the librarian as she hands Henrietta three books.

Henrietta’s four aunts love being read to. Every day she reads to them and returns to the library for more. Now, this is where one of my favorite parts come in. Henrietta loves reading so much, she wonders if writing them is as much fun. She does what anyone is serious does. She researches it. She finds a book, goes home and reads it, and promptly begins writing a book. I love, love, loved this part. This part reminds me so much of Phillise. She is a read-a-holic. She loved reading so much that she has decided to write her own stories. She is constantly writing her own stories. One of her favorite things to do is to cross popular stories. She wrote one entitled, Fancy Nancy Meets Junie B. Jones. She inserted her own pictures in it and everything. As I write this, she has another one on the backburner. I’m not going to tell the name of that one until she finishes writing it. I am so proud of my little girl. I encourage her to write her own original stories as well. I’m just happy that she enjoys reading & writing. But, I digress. On with the review.

While visiting the library, Henrietta comes across an excellent book about writing that has eight writing rules.

Rule #1: You need a main character.

Rule #2: You need to “hatch” a plot.

Rule #3: Give your main character a problem.

Rule #4: Develop your plot by asking “What if?”.

Rule #5: Write what you know.

Rule #6: Build suspense.

Rule #7: Make your story come alive by using all five senses.

Rule #8: The main character must solve her (or his) own problem.

So, with the help of her aunts, she writes a story. What do you think happens? Did Henrietta’s research pay off? Does her book become the #1 bestseller? Well, I guess you’re going to have to read it to find out for yourself. I know you will like this. Especially if you’re an elementary teacher.

I can think of a few ways this book can be used in a writing center, after I’ve used it for a read-aloud. I would begin by photocopying the middle of the book that explains how to write a story, along with its explanations & make it into a mini-book for the children to refer to. That is, as soon as I get another class.

What would you do with it? Drop me a comment and let me know.

Happy Birthday Sam!

Today is, Sam, my oldest son’s 20th birthday. My, how time flies. He was just a baby. Happy Birthday!

Attn: Displaced L.A.U.S.D. teachers

***This post is for all the displaced L.A.U.S.D. teachers.***

I just got off the phone with Recruitment & Placement @ Beaudry building and have some very good news. Believe me when I say this made my day. I was a little down yesterday and today.  I was told that L.A.U.S.D. just received a list of vacancies today. The list would be going out tomorrow to all displaced teachers. So, be on the lookout in your L.A.U.S.D. e-mail. If you are a displaced teacher and don’t receive this list, try calling Recruitment & Placement @ 213-241-1000 and ask for the certificated specialist in your local district.

Hope this helps.

Bound & Gagged!

In the words of India.arie- I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am not your expectations. No… I am a soul that lives within.

You know what? That is so true. I am a soul that lives within. I am more than the title of teacher. But if that’s true why do I feel like a loser, a nobody. I feel- bound & gagged. Since I don’t have a job I feel like I have nothing to contribute at all. My whole identity is wrapped up in my job.

Why is that? Why do we, as human beings, wrap all of our self-worth up in our jobs? Why am I doing it? I know it’s unhealthy, yet I keep beating myself up anyway. I need to stop this roller coaster ride and get off. Life is scary enough as it is. I don’t need anything else wreaking havoc on my emotions. I need to get a hold of myself & my emotions. I am more than my job. I am the soul that lives within.

***(If I could just make myself believe it, I’ll be just fine.)***

True Friendship

1.) When you are sad, I will jump on the person who made you sad, like a spider monkey hopped up on Mountain Dew.

2.) When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3.) When you smile, I will know you are plotting something I must be involved in.

4.) When you are scared, we will high tail it out of there.

5.) When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya’ big baby!

6.) When you are confused, I will use little words

7.) When you are sick, stay away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have…

8.) When you fall, I’ll pick you up and dust you off– After I laugh my a$$ off.

9.) This is my oath… I pledge it til the end.  “Why?” you may ask… because you are my FRIEND!

***********************

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only YOU can feel the true warmth.

Traumatic Brain Injury Posting Delayed!

I would like to extend my apologies to the interested reader who requested research on Traumatic Brain Injury. I was extremely busy last week and did not have time to research & post it. I will post next week.

Miss Malarkey Won’t Be In Today by Judy Finchler

Miss Malarkey Won’t Be In Today (2000), written by Judy Finchler and illustrated by Kevin O’ Malley, gave me quite a little chuckle. In this 2nd installation in the Miss Malarkey series, Miss Malarkey is back and this time SHE is the one with the over-active imagination! Stuck at home, delirious and helplessly sick, Miss Malarkey can’t help but worry about which substitute Principal Wiggins has called in.

Will it be Mr. Doberman? A guy so tough he even scares Miss Malarkey. Or will it be Mrs. Ungerware, who the kids call Mrs. Underwear? Or will it be Mr. Lemonjello? He is such a nervous man. Miss Malarkey worries he’ll be scared stiff if they let the iguana out of its cage. Visions of myriad horrors dance in her head of what the students will do in music class because Mr. Lemonjello cannot control them.

They’ll crank up the volume, dance on the desks, and swing from the lights.

When they have art, OH MY, they’ll go crazy. They’ll paint the ceilings AND the floor. Mr. Lemonjello will be two shades of blue.

So crazed is Miss Malarkey that she rushes to school in her bunny slippers and bathrobe, lesson plans in hand. She gets to school, looks in the class, and can’t believe what she sees. What, oh what, does she see? Well, I guess you’re going to have to read it and find out for yourself.

I think teachers will get quite a chuckle out of this book. Although some didn’t. I read other reviews of this book. Someone thought it was, how did they put it, trite and banal. They thought the author made substitute teachers look bad. I can see their point. There were some inept subs, but you have to admit that that’s how it really is. I have worked with some bad subs in my day. I’m not saying all subs are bad. That would be a gross overgeneralization. However, some are as bad as the book portrays them.

Oh, does this book remind me of my own class when I took a leave of absence earlier this year. In a two month time period, my class ran away 9 subs. You read right, 9 subs. Just like Miss Malarkey says in the book, “My class can be a handful sometimes.”

As always, read it and decide for yourself.

An A.P.L.E. a Day? Maybe not!

An A.P.L.E. a Day? Maybe not! It seems my site has become an unofficial sounding board for A.P.L.E. recipients who haven’t received their promised payments. Now, this disheartens me since I am signed up for the A.P.L.E. grant. I am beginning to get scared. Am I going to have problems collecting like all those who use my site as a sounding board? Will the A.P.L.E. program do me like all the others. That remains to be seen. I hope not though. I need A.P.L.E. to take a bite out of my loans. I owe a truckload of money!

Feeling A Little Bit Better!

I feel a little better today. I’d been feeling a little down ’cause I thought I’d have a job by now. I’m going to send out so me more resumés tomorrow. I’m confident I’ll find something in the coming weeks.

What Is A Leader?

Leadership is not the ability to command, it is the ability to inspire others to act in ways that make them leaders as well.

-Unknown-

Still Unemployed!

Yep, dear readers, I am still unemployed. I thought I’d have a job by now, but not so. I’ve done all I know how. I’ve reached out to contacts & sent out resumes. But, so far, nothing at all.  I’ll just have to keep on pounding the pavement.

Cornrows by Camille Yarbrough

Cornrows (1979), written by Camille Yarbrough & illustrated by Carole Byard, was a very nice book. It’s a tribute to braids or cornrows as they’re sometimes called. The book is beautifully & simply illustrated with charcoal, and/or pencil drawings. Can I just say that I love these drawings?

Since I my mother used to braid my hair and I braid Phillise’s hair, I had to get this book. Imagine how pleased I was when I found this book. I didn’t realize it was so old until I looked at the publication date. Whew, this is old! This book was actually published when I was 9 years old. I didn’t know of too many books that had brown people who looked like me when I was younger. It was readily available, I just didn’t have access to it. I wish I would have had access to this book when I was younger.

It wasn’t a problem for me to be proud of my braids when I was younger because I grew up in a predominantly black neighborhood in the ’70′s, so almost everyone wore braids at one time or another. Even though my neighborhood’s a little bit more diverse, it’s the same situation with Phillise. Not to mention that I, and 5 of my 6 sisters braid our children’s hair. Danielle is just learning with Moriah, but she’s getting there.

So, needless to say, this book took me back to a time when I was little. Back to when my mother used to braid my hair. Sometimes the styles would be simple; sometimes they would be elaborate. More often than not they were simple, just like in the book. So, on to the review.

Shirley Ann, otherwise known as Sister calls Mike, her little brother, otherwise known as Brother, MeToo because he echoes everything she says. They listen to the Mama & Great-Grammaw’s stories. They love listening to the stories. Yesterday, when they went in, Great-Grammaw was fixin’ Mama’s hair in cornrows. Great-Grammaw says the braids got that name because our old folks down south planted rows of corn in the fields that looked like the rows of braids they fixed in their hair.

Sister & Brother want their hair fixed too. They also want to know the name of the style Great-Grammaw is doing, but Great-Grammaw tells them to go outside & play. Before they do though, Mama stands up and turns around in front of the mirror like she was going to dance or something. Then she bent down and kissed Sister on the head. Then she said:

I delight in tellin’ you, my child–

yes, you please me when you ask it–

it’s a hairstyle that’s called suku.

In Yoruba, it means basket.

Then Brother looks at Sister and tells her, “You gonna’ be a basket head.”

Sister asks her mother what she’s going to put in the basket. Mama says she thinks she’ll put love in it. Brother asks Great-Grammaw what she’ll put in her basket. Great-Grammaw says she’ll put love in hers too. Brother then asks if he falls down, will the love go away.

“Oh, noooo, my darlin’! she said. “Because the love, like the basket, will be a part of you.” So Sister asks her again, what kind of love would she put in her basket. To which Great-Grammaw replies, “Hand-me-down love, baby.” Of course, ole’ MeToo asks Great-Grammaw too. She gives the same answer. Then Great-Grammaw picked MeToo up and hugged him in her lap and started humming just like she does when we’re in church. She said, “An’ if you fall down, that ol’ hand-me-down love won’t go nowhere. Because it’s gonna’ be a part of you. Just like the basket I’m fixin’ to braid in ya’ hair.

The story goes on like this really sweetly. Read it for yourself and see how it ends. It’s a sweet story. This story will pique your interest whether or not you got your hair braided. Either way, this review is just in time for Chris Rock’s new movie “Good Hair.”  As always, go pick it up at your local bookstore or library.

Books, Books, Books!

I love books. What I love even more than buying and reading books is buying them for cheap. What am I talking about? Well, the ROADIUM open air flea market, sells books for very cheap. How cheap? Today I purchased some books for as cheap as $1 for hardcover books. My latest acquisition:

The Roald Dahl Treasury, all 443 pages for $2 (list price=$35) 

Miss Spider’s Wedding by David Kirk for $1 (list price= $16.95)

Miss Spider’s Tea Party by David Kirk for $1 (list price= $16.95)

Miss Spider’s New Car by David Kirk for $1 (list price= $16.95)

Lift Ev’ry Voice and Sing (Illustrated by Jan Spivey Gilchrist) for $1 (list price= $16.95)

David Goes to School by David Shannon (list price= $16.95)

There’s No Place Like Space, a Cat in the Hat Learning Library book, for $1 (list price= $8.99)

These are all in like new condition. So, for a grand total of $7, I got over $100 worth of books. Love it, love it, love it!

Ghosts Of Hair & Clothes Issues Past!

I wish I felt like this when I was younger, but I didn’t. This book and all it represents reminds me of a situation I’m dealing with right now. I have been very upset lately with someone that I am very close to. It has to do with a young female relative. You see, this person is so extra, super-dee-duper, ridiculously cheap. She doesn’t buy her little girl any pretty clothes. Nor does she fix her hair nicely. It’s doubly bad because this person is a hairdresser. Needless to say, this little girl is very insecure. She told me that Phillise is so much smarter, prettier and has better clothes than her.

I really felt like crying when she told me this. I had to tell her that she is pretty and that she had nice clothes too. To which she replied, “My clothes are dark and ugly. They’re like boy clothes.”

“Phillise’s are much prettier. They’re girl colors,” she said.

I felt like crying again. How can I help her? She has no confidence. Her hair, at times, is like whateeever. He clothes are too small and sometimes very outdated. What do I do? I bought her a couple of things when she went shopping with me & Phillise, but I don’t have the funds to do that all the time. I want her to have confidence. How do I approach her mother about treating her better?

Right about now, you may be asking, what does this bother me? What does this have to do with me? Well, I grew up really poor. There were always so many of us, with not enough money to go around. Put it this way, we always had more month at the end of our money. I was always so jealous of the girls at school who had pretty clothes and hair. Don’t even talk about Hello, Kitty! stuff. One of my classmates had a lot. I would look enviously at her cute little trinkets and wish I had them. That’s why I made a vow to myself that when I had a daughter, I would buy her nice clothes, shoes, and cute little trinkets. Did I keep my part of the bargain? Yes, I sure did. I don’t go overboard and overspend, but I do keep my little girl looking as cute as can be. I know how to bargain hunt. I can buy her a whole outfit (top & bottom) for less than $20. So, can my relative’s mother. That’s why I am so mad about this particular situation. It reminds me too much of my situation when I was younger. My mother didn’t have the money. That didn’t make me any less furious, but at least there was a reason. This person has no reason. She’s such a cheapskate and her little girl is suffering. I’m not saying she should spend an insane amount of money on this child’s clothing, but she needs to try.

I really need to work through this. I don’t have a choice. I do not need to put my own feelings in this but, it’s such a tender spot, I can’t help it. I will work my way through this, dear readers. I’ll come out on top. I always do.

Until next time!

Learning Disabilities Awareness Month

October is Learning Disabilities Awareness Month. So, I’d like to take this month and dedicate a week to a specific disability. My personal specialty is Specific Learning Disability or SLD. I’m not sure why it’s called Specific Learning Disability because there is nothing specific about it. I will, however, discuss that at a later date. That will be this next week’s focus.

Next week, I’d like to highlight a different disability. Or, if you have a request, leave it here or in my inbox @ specialedandme@gmail.com. While you’re at it, why don’t you subscribe to this blog by clicking on the orange button like thingy  to the right.

Until next time!

A Pack of $5 Stickers vs. Using What You Already Have!

Yesterday after I picked Phillise & my niece, Melodee, up from school, I decided to stop by Michael’s. We hadn’t been there all summer, so I figured it was high time we did. Initially, I thought about buying some stickers, but thought about the 1,000 we already had at home. (Translation: I was being a big fat cheapskate). However, Phillise didn’t have that problems. She had $2 to spend and by golly she was gonna’ spend it. She picked up a pack of stickers that we thought were $2.99. She told me that she’d find her extra dollar in her drawer and pay me when we got home. So, I told her okay. The problem began when the stickers rang up for $4.99 instead of $2.99.

“Uh-oh, honey,” I said. “Those stickers are waaaaaay too much.

After I asked the cashier to remove them, I told her that she would just have to use what we had @ home. She really tried to get me with her big puppy dog eyes, but I stayed strong. As I was driving home, trying not to look @ the tears welling up in her eyes, I thought about how privileged she is. When I was younger, I yearned for stickers and scissors that cut wavy lines. I didn’t have the privilege of having 3 die-cutting machines, 2 binding machines, a laminating machine, and a whole host of brightly colored markers, crayons, and pretty paper. So, I thought to myself that she could make do with all of the stuff we have at home. No need for $5 stickers. She can use what we already have.

Until next time, dear readers!

I Didn’t Get It!

Nope, dear readers, I did not get the job that I was up for. At first I thought I was a shoe-in. However, after I wasn’t contacted after a week, I knew it wasn’t meant to be. I’m not upset though. It would have been fine if it happened. It didn’t, so next. Hopefully someone will call soon. I’ve been putting out a ton of resumés.

Lulu’s Hat by Susan Meddaugh

Lulu’s Hat (2002), by Susan Meddaugh, author of Martha the talking dog series, was my latest purchase from the .99¢ store. I could not believe it. It’s a chapter book. Since I have a middle school student, it’s high time that I begin re-familiarizing myself with chapter books. But, even though this is a chapter book, the chapters are short. So, I would say this book could be for someone as young as 3rd or 4th grade; 2nd in Phillise’s case. She’s currently reading this. N-e way, on to the review.

In True Magic Families, a single member of each generation was born with the magician’s touch. Real magic. It was a genetic quirk that no one could explain. Either you had it or you didn’t. (Reminds me of Highlander- “There can be only ONE.”)

McDonald’s Trick or Treat Coupons

The cost= $1.50 for a packet of 12 coupons.

What you get?= 3 bags of Apple Dippers, Small Apple Juice or Milk jug, small cone, or Hamburger.

Who it’s for= 12 and under. My McDonald’s a stickler for this. They’re actually kinda’ anal about it.

It’s a limit of one coupon per customer per visit.

I love these coupons. They’re sold year-round and are good for 2-3 months @ a time. I began purchasing them when David was in Kindergarten (Gee, has it been that long?). I’d pick him up from school, take him to McDonald’s & let him have his pick. He loved it. This was at a time when I was low on funds, but he didn’t know because he still got his treat @ the end of the day. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

**P.S.- Mine don’t look like this. They look slightly different.**

Missing Them Terribly!

I miss my students so much. They miss me too. They want me to come back. Oh, if I could. That’s just not in the cards, but I miss them so much.

Sister!

Sister
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Love the ones who don’t just because you can.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Kiss slowly.
Forgive quickly.
God never said life would be easy.
He just promised it would be worth it.

How To Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell

How to Eat Fried Worms (1972) is so gross. It is totally a little boy’s book. The author, Thomas Rockwell, is the son of beloved American painter Norman Rockwell, and he was the recipient of the Mark Twain Award, the California Young Reader Medal, and the Sequoyah Award for Worms.  He wrote several other young adult books (most of them seemed to start with How to…i.e. Fight a Girl, Get Fabulously Rich, etc.), but Worms is the only one that most people remember.

And After That?

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

“Not very long,” answered the Mexican.

“But then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the American.