Tired, Reflective, Inquisitive & Discouraged Me!

Dear Readers,

I’ve stopped writing because I just don’t have it in me to write and try to be optimistic when I am NOT. I am seriously rethinking if I want to proceed in my chosen occupation. The reason I say this is because I’m having a hard time yet again. In fact, I’ve had a hard time since I began teaching. So, I have to wonder if teaching is really for me???

I know that is something that only I can answer for myself, but I am seriously leaning towards NO!

I just want to SCREAM!!!!

Why am I having such a hard time when all I want to do is teach? All I want to do is change lives for the better. Yet, I keep encountering the same problems time and time again. I’m so tired.

I was trying to let at my problems objectively and say that this was something that I need to learn. But, I can’t see anything. I’m out of answers and questions and faith. I don’t have anything left to give. I’m so tired and discouraged. I feel like it’s 2009 all over again where my boss is going to sully my name when all I am trying to do is be left alone to do my job. If I could lay down and die, I would. However, obviously it’s not my time to go. If I could have wished myself dead, I’d have been dead a long time ago. So, I guess I will just have to keep on living until I die.

So, there you have it Dear Readers. The story of my really pitiful, trouble filled life!

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4 Responses

  1. I understand how you feel. I have been reading your blog off and on for about a year and a half. I have been teaching for 27 years and have been discouraged for the past 10. I am not able to work with my students due to all the paper needed for special ed. students. I think if we can look for the positive influence we have on our children, we can make it. Hang it there.

  2. Thank you so much for your kind words Wanda. I am trying to keep it together, but it’s so hard.

  3. Hi My name is Tina,
    And I just stumbled across your website. I’m sorry you feel so discouraged; however, I can truly relate I work with special Ed. Students at nonpublic school in Washington, DC. It has become a never-ending battle working in this population and many times like you I feel defeated and depleted. I encourage you to not give up on yourself and learn to rekindle what makes you happy. True Educators like you come a dime a dozen trust me we all know there is no money in education. You have to have a love for working with kids and especially working with urban low-income special needs students. Perhaps you should consider working at the Board of Education, so you can help change or reform some of the special education laws in your district. I’m routing for you and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors. Please don’t check out there are too many students depending and need to know & have someone like you in their lives.
    I wish you all the best from one educator to another:)

    Tina

  4. Thank you so much for your words. They are right on time. Since writing that post, I’ve gotten it together a little and I feel so much better. Thank you so, so much for the encouragement.

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