Ah, the day I saw my mother-in-law’s vagina. What a catchy title? You just have to read this post now, don’t you? Trust me, this post is not going to be what you thought it was going to be about. This post is about a couple of things. Like to hear them, here they are:
- Why I don’t play classical music anymore.
- Why does, “Aha, aha…,” mean?
- Why I don’t share my blog address with many people.
- How I came up with the title, “The Day I Saw My Mother-in-Law’s Vagina”
I know, with a title like that, I have a lot of explaining to do, so here goes: When I first started at my site last year, I used to play classical music to calm the students down. However, one time the Principal came into my room and instructed me to turn it off. She said that it was too distracting. So, I had to stop. Even though it was working, I had to stop. That’s why I stopped playing classical music in my classroom.
Now, that leads me to my second point of “Aha!…Aha!…” In the movie Princess Bride, Billy Crystal’s character would make these silly little points that had absolutely no point. Once someone would question him about the meaningless “points”, he would hold up his finger and respond, “Aha!…Aha!…” The questioner would be left with a blank look wondering why in the world he thought he’d proven a point when he absolutely did not. That wraps up my second point and brings me to my third point of why I don’t share my blog address with many people at my work site.
Well, the main reason that I don’t share my blog address with many at my work site is because a couple of them are scared of Special Education. They remember how the students used to be before I came. Some of them still choose to see them like that even though they’re not like that anymore. They just have a hard time changing their way of thinking about special ed. Everything was fine until Nu. Now, this lends credence to what people were saying, “See! I told you how those Special Ed kids are!”
Well, the problem is that recently I decided to share my blog address with a couple of teachers @ school. So, right now, I’m not sure who’s reading this. But, since I don’t work at that job site anymore, it’s not all that important. Let’s move on!
Lastly, to wrap this up, I used to watch this great (recently cancelled) show, “Worst Week”? Well, what does this show, seeing my mother-in-law’s vagina, not playing classical music anymore, why I don’t share my blog address with a lot of people, and “Aha, aha…,” have to do with anything? Okay, well, just wait a little bit longer and I’ll bring it back around.
On the show, “Worst Week,” the main character, Brian, who’s a writer, is always doing stupidly destructive things. All kinds of crazy, out-of-the-ordinary kinds of things happen to him. He’s like an accident magnet- accidents are so drawn to him.
Well, Brian tells the story of how, in a quirky twist of fate, he saw his mother-in-law’s vagina. In the show, Brian and his fiancée are making an appointment to see the gynecologist because, unbeknownst to the family, his fiancée, Mel, is pregnant. What they don’t know is that his M-I-L is also going to the gynecologist. But she’s old school so she doesn’t talk about stuff like that.
When it’s Sam & Mel’s turn to go in, he’s busy doing something else, so he doesn’t go in with her. Now he doesn’t know which room she’s in. In order to find out which room she’s in, he gives the nurse the last name and the nurse tells him the room number. Or so he thinks!
Anyway, to shorten the story and keep it moving, suffice it to say that Sam ends up seeing his M-I-L’s vagina. He tells the guys about it and it somehow makes its way back to the boss who tells him to write about it. He does and as usual, some mishap occurs. His M-I-L ends up with the story. He wanted to write it to get it out, but didn’t want to publish it. That’s what predicament I find myself in.
I have this fantastic story to tell but I can’t tell it. So, learning from Brian’s mistake I won’t even publish that story. I will simply be content and settle for telling it to my husband, my sister and Traci.
It’s funny how somethings can be seemingly unrelated, yet they conspire to bring about a revelation that most people (those who aren’t odd & quirky like me) wouldn’t connect. I know. It took a long time to bring it around, but it was kinda’ funny. What I’m basically trying to say is that I have this really funny story to tell that I cannot tell for various reasons.
On a final note, I could totally have written for Seinfeld. I’m just saying!
Filed under: Anecdotes, humor, life, Random thoughts, teaching | Leave a comment »