Happy Mother’s Day & Graduation to ME!

Dear Readers,

Today, I have at least three great things going for me. First, I am a mother, and have been for over 23 years. My children range in age from 11-23. So, HAPPY, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY to me!

Secondly, I walked across the stage today at LMU for my Master’s in Special Education and my Education Specialist teaching credential. YAY ME!!! It was a struggle, but it’s done. Next step is Ph.D when Phillise graduates from high school in 8 years!

Lastly, I’ve been blogging for 6 years now! I can’t believe it. The time has simply flown by. I sometimes look back on my posts and see how far I’ve come. Lately, I’ve been a little discouraged. I’ve gotten better though. I was only looking at the negative and not the positive. I’ve been meditating and reading Iyanla & keeping my thoughts positive. I just might make it. I’M GOING TO MAKE IT!!!

I am the little engine that could. I’ve progress from I think I can to I know I can and will!

Thank you for being there Dear Readers. Here’s some pictures of me on my special day today!

Self-portraits @ 42, almost 43 years old!

     

My husband and my four children relaxing after graduation!

Burned Up Me!!!

Dear Readers,

I am so very, very grateful for God having his hands on me. I say this because a couple of weeks ago as I was driving home, I noticed that someone’s car was smoking. As I looked into the rear view mirror, lo and behold, I discovered it was, in fact, my car that was doing the smoking. You could have knocked me over with a feather!

Once I noticed, I attempted to slow down, but couldn’t. Why? Well, it was because I had no brakes. Quite odd since I had brakes just two minutes before that. I didn’t panic though. I was very calm. It was like a supernatural calm. (My best friend, Danika, didn’t even realize how bad the situation was because I was so calm.)

I managed to pull the emergency brake and pull over. I thank God that nothing happened. I didn’t hit any cars, parked or otherwise; I didn’t hit any people. I didn’t hit any buildings or destroy anyone’s property. The fact that I didn’t was a minor miracle.

Once I pulled over, I gathered myself and called my husband to call AAA. Then I called 911 who dispatched a fire truck. They were very nice as they put the fire out. They believe it was the brake line that caught fire!

Looking at my car and thinking about the accident I was in last year, on Valentine’s Day, I thank God that he has he hand on me. I was slightly shaken but not bruised.

The accident yesterday makes two potentially fatal accidents I could have been in in less than a year’s time, that I walked away from without so much of a scratch. I feel very blessed this morning. I feel like screaming and shouting from the rooftops.

Once I was safely in the rental car, the song My Soul Looks Back came to mind because I truly wonder how I’ve made it through the past couple of years. God has truly been good to me!

Too Successful???

***Warning- This post is a little wordy!***

Dear Readers,

I find myself with quite an unusual situation of being too successful! Is there such a thing? Apparently there is. Let me explain.

Yesterday I was the representative of my school for Coaster’s initial I.E.P. It was relatively small. It consisted of the Assistant Principal (who’s in charge of Special Education-A.P.E.I.S. or A.P. for short), the school psychologist, the RSP teacher, Coaster’s mom, and I. It was held in the A.P.’s office; really small and cozy. Very nice, not intimidating at all. Not only that, but the school goes to the 6th grade, which would give Coaster an additional year in elementary school. The only thing I disagreed with was the psychologist’s use of jargon that was not explained to Coaster’s mom. Other than that the meeting went very smoothly.

The reason I say that I was too successful is because Coaster qualified for Specific Learning Disability (SLD) instead of Autism (Aut). I asked the school psychologist about it and she said that she wanted to observe him more because she didn’t see as many of the behaviors usually prevalent with children with autism.

I was thinking, “Boy, she should have seen him last year before I started working with him!”

Coaster’s mom told them that Coaster is a different person thanks to me. After I detailed the various behavior modification techniques I used with Coaster, the School Psychologist said she now understood why she didn’t see some of the behaviors she was expecting.

I was happy on one hand, but not so happy on the other. On one hand I am happy for Coaster that his behavior has improved so much, to the point of his behaviors upgrading from severe to moderately low; which means a better of quality for life for him. On the other hand I am unhappy because it was my hope that Coaster’s offer of a Free & Appropriate Public Education (F.A.P.E.) would be placement in a class specifically for students with Autism. However, his offer of F.A.P.E. was an hour of Resource class 1-2/week.

I then asked if the offer of a Special Day Class/Program (SDC/P) was even an option because the 6th grade class size is 30 students. There is no way that Coaster will be able to cope with 30 students. He would positively have a meltdown on the first day of school. The AP said that the F.A.P.E. offer would was his Least Restrictive Environment (L.R.E.) and that he needed to be placed in his L.R.E. first. She was correct, but I am still worried about his mental well-being should his mom choose to put him in that school next year.

FINAL OUTCOME: His mom, as I expected, rejected the F.A.P.E. offer because she didn’t want him to leave our school. I understand that. He does NOT adapt to change well. So, he will finish out the remainder of the school year at our school and hopefully be placed in his school of residence next year. Even though his mother rejected the F.A.P.E. offer that was offered to her, some services were offered. The services offered will be in the form of 12 hours of training for me to learn more strategies to deal with Coaster. It wasn’t the best case scenario but at least his mother now has a clearer picture of his disability.

Although I am really sad that he will be leaving at the end of the school year, it is for the best. It really makes me wonder how many students with disabilities drop out of high school because of the low chances for success. I know the number is high. Too high!

Although I can’t save them all, it is my desire to work on those students one at a time! Imagine if more and more people did that? Everyone can contribute just a little. Bye for now Dear Readers!

So Busy!!!

Dear Readers,

I’ve been extremely busy this week. Too busy! I have a ton of posts stored up in my head. I’m pretty sure I will not be posting tomorrow. So, I will take the time over the long weekend to post my thoughts. Until then!

Half Full? or Half Empty? (or All About the Solutions!!!)

To quote Adrian Monk, “It’s a gift and a curse!”

Is the glass half full or is it half empty? It all depends on how you look at it. I’ve always had the ability to identify problems. This can be seen as a negative or a positive. In my life, it’s mostly been a negative. However, in the classroom, it’s definitely a positive. I can spend 5-10 minutes with a child and be able to tell you so much about them. People wonder how I’m able to do that! Well, it’s amazingly simple- Just listen! Children are amazingly self-aware. If you ask them, 9/10 times they will tell you what you want to know.

Since I’m tired, I will not write a long drawn out post. I will simply wind this up. Being able to identify problems is a good skill to have, but it’s only half the battle. Now, since I’m the Inclusion Specialist at my school, I’m the one responsible for finding solutions. Believe me when I say that I’ve been working overtime doing just that. I’m all about the solutions.

Now, in addition to finding problems, I’ve found that I also have the ability for finding solutions. It’s funny what you learn about yourself when you’re under pressure or you have to do what you have to do. One other problem I have the answer to is…Sleep! I’m on my way to bed! Goodnight!

How Far I’ve Come!

One of my favorite songs is, “Come This Far by Faith.” I’m not sure if that’s actually the name of the song, but that’s what I know it by. The words go:

We’ve come this far by faith,

Oooh, yeah, leaning on the Lord,

Trusting in his holy word,

He’s never failed me yet,

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Can’t turn around. We’ve come this far by faith!

Let me tell you something, Dear Reader, I have come this far by faith. Even though I had to reach deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep, deep down, I did manage to Hold On For One More Day.

I’ve been reflecting on the past couple of years and cannot believe I made it through. Although there were more than enough times when I didn’t think that I would, I did! You know what, I embrace it all; all of the hard times, suicidal times, even the  times when I reached rock bottom. ALL of it!!!

Recently, I read something that sums it up perfectly. Like to hear it, here it goes:

Pain makes you STRONGER,

Tears make you BRAVER,

Heartbreak makes you WISER,

So, thank the past for a better future.

I could not agree more. During the time when I was going through some of the worst times of my life, I did not and could not  appreciate what this little poem is expressing. To me, life was just too hard and I was tired of living. Now that I’m “out of the fire” I see things differently. I can appreciate that Pain has made me stronger and that my Tears have made me braver, and that Heartbreak has made me wiser. I would like to take time to thank my past for the future I’ve been prepared for. I could not have imagined doing this even 6 months ago.

Yes, Dear Readers, I have come very far. I’m so proud of myself for having the wherewithal to reflect even when I felt like I simply could not take anymore; when I felt like I wanted to curse the day for waking up. I can’t lie, some days I did curse the day. However, once those days became fewer and farther in between, I knew I was at the end of my trial.

If you would like some encouragement, look back on my posts from October 2009 and you will see how far I’ve come. I was so at the end of my rope, I did NOT think I would make it. But, I did!!!

So, if at all possible, I would like to encourage you if you are at the end of your rope. Don’t let go. Hang on!! Even though it may not seem like it, things will get better. JUST HOLD ON!

Journey 2 the Center of…ME!!!

I’ve been on a quest to conquer my laziness this summer. But, with a limited budget since I don’t get paid in the summer, I’ve been searching out free activities in the surrounding cities. Some of the activities I’ve found:

• free movies at the local Rave theaters. They’re old, but still relevant.
• LAPL has book clubs with free crafts on different days,
• LACMA’s Friday night Jazz,
• the Howard Hughes Promenade jazz on Saturday nights,
• Baldwin Hills Crenshaw plaza free concerts.

Lakeshore’s People Colored Crayons & Loving Yourself!

This is just a observation of mine I discovered regarding students who are insecure in themselves. I actually begin the school year using this as a test. It’s not foolproof though, since there are some students who aren’t aware of their skin tone, but I use it anyway. That’s one of the reasons I love, love, love Lakeshore’s people-colored-crayons and what they represent. It helps me know which students I need to work with on their self-esteem. At the beginning of the school year I make it a point to have my students pick the color closest to their skin color. The students who aren’t secure with themselves or who don’t like their color invariably pick a color nowhere near their own skin tone. It’ usually about two shades lighter than their actual skin tone. Imagine my surprise when the same thing happened with Hispanic students. I thought this was a phenomenon exclusive to black children. Has this happened in your class or with someone else you know? What say you?

The Meaning of Life…

***WARNING- I RAMBLE A LOT IN THIS POST. I MEAN IT. THIS POST IS ALL OVER THE PLACE.***

Does anyone remember the show Step by Step? There was this really air-headed character by the name of Cody. Cody & the other characters on the show had a contest to see who could stay up the longest? Well, the longer they were woke, the smarter and less air-headed Cody became. He was just about to discover the meaning of life when he passed out from delirium and lack of sleep.

Well, my experience is the exact opposite. When I am not getting enough sleep, I get delirious, but not smarter. In fact, I do what I call Midnight Thinking. It’s the time when you think you are putting out brilliant thought after thought, when, in fact, you are actually kickin’ kaknowledge.

So, I said/wrote all that to say that I have been having mind-blowing revelations lately. With a little downtime, I’ve been able to clear my mind & come up with some badly needed answers in my personal & professional life.

I was also thinking about how this blog never fully recovered after I posted about losing faith a couple of years ago when I was having such a hard, hard time in my life. I was expressing my disillusionment & loss of faith. I was having trouble with the saying, “God never puts more on you than you can bare!” I took issue with that because I felt like I did have more on me than I could bare. I simply shut down. I haven’t fully recovered, partially because nothing has really changed. But, since this blog cannot take another hit like I did a couple of years ago, I will simply keep it to myself.

I was also thinking about attraction between two people. What makes one person believe they have to have that one special person?

I was also thinking about my plans for next year. This, as per the last couple of years, has been a hard year for me, both personally & professionally. I can only hope that the next school year will be better.

I have so many, many thoughts in my head that need to come out. However, I can’t seem to organize them. When I can’t, I get a post like this. I’ll try to keep it together.

After You’ve Done All You Can…

Right now I am listening to one of my favorite songs of all time- Stand by Donnie McClurkin. This song has gotten me through so many different situations. I’m listening to it because, even though there are only about 5 weeks left in the school year, I still have parents complaining left & right. One I’m so through with I don’t know what to do. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a back stabber. I would really much rather have someone punch me in my face that stab me in the back. But I guess that’s not how the world works now, is it?

I’m not going to make this a long post. I will simple say that I will listen to stand before I go to school, while I’m at school, and after I get home. I have an early morning meeting called by the Title I teacher to address two of my student’s deficits. I’m glad she called it because I was not going to call it. The mother of the two students has a problem twisting my words. That, however, is a story for tomorrow. I’ll write all about it tomorrow because for some people, your all just doesn’t seem to be enough. So, until then, Dear Readers, have a great night!

Validating Me in the Wrong Way?

Today, I was talking to a popular sub @ my school who has the same teaching style I do. She’s tough! well, I was talking to her about my class’ behavior and she totally validated me.

“Yeah, they”re a little rambunctious!” she said.

“Ok,” I thought. She validated my thoughts on them…but in the wrong way!

A PROCRASTINATORSAURUS or (Getting to the Root of Procrastination…)

Lately, I’ve  been on a mission to rid myself, or rather, make more manageable, my procrastination problem. It had become a really big problem. It’s so bad that I have papers in my closet, at work, from last grading period that I haven’t returned to the students. Do you see my dilemma now?

Well, as I said, I am on a mission to make my procrastinating more manageable. I’ve read articles (once I’ve gotten to them), asked for advice from successful people, and listened to meditation CDs.

While listening to the meditation CD, I had time to stop and think about why I have been a Procrastinatorsaurs. That’s when I realized I was procrastinating because I’m afraid of failing at that task. When I am fairly certain that I can perform a given task, I get right on it. However, if I know that I will struggle with it, I will put it off, and off, and off. As I’m doing with my grading and returning student work.

I’m really happy that I’ve gotten to the root of my procrastination problem. So far, I am making great progress. Let’s just hope that it continues. Here’s hoping. Bye for now!

Addressing Drama! Part 3

Dear Readers,

The girls, save one, have returned their permission slips and have begun seeing the Art Therapist. Since I got mad at them the week before last about all of their drama, they have been solving more of their own problems. Thank God for that because they were really stressing me out. Little girls can be sooooooooooooooooooooooooo catty. Whew! Here’s hoping for less girls and more boys next year!

Addressing Drama! Part 2

Well, I’ve hopefully discovered the solution for the drama queens & kings in my classrooms. Since I work at a Jesuit school, we have Ignatian volunteers. We have a school psychologist, a school nurse, and an Art Therapist. Permission slips have gone home for the students to be able to see them, but so far, no one has returned them. I have been putting pressure on the girls to return them because I am not going to deal with their drama anymore.

The main cause of the drama is Binaca Blast. She is incredibly insecure & her mother is incredibly crazy. This is so not a good combination. She keeps disruptions going in the class all day long. I finally told her that I am not going to entertain her drama anymore. Hopefully her mother will let her participate. Here’s hoping!

10 Simple Truths I’ve Learned About Education

Working in education makes you one tough mutha’, shut yo’ mouth! Although I may get off track and temporarily want to smack someone (as with MFH), I’ve learned many simple truths that will help save your sanity. They are in no particular order. Enjoy!

1. You will have parents (more than likely a mom) from hell who complain about everything.
2. There will be parents who will question your methods.
3. There will be parents who will have your back. Especially regarding the parents from hell.
4. Administrators may turn on you. You’ve got to learn how to have your own back. What I mean by this is that you have to learn to stick up for yourself.
5. Some years will be terrible.
6. Some years will be fantastic.
7. You may not like all of your students. Over the years (since we are human) we may have a personality clash or two with a student or two.
8. You will not get paid what you are worth. Deal with it.
9. Children need to learn:

• Independence &
• Struggle.
• to be told no

10. All of your hard work will one day pay off!!!

“Out, Out, Damn Laptop!

“Out, Out, Damn Laptop!” has been echoing in my ears Dear Readers. As I write this I am reminded of my high school Shakespeare class. I have been feeling so guilty about spending so much time on my laptop that I’ve been dreaming about it. Is it my guilty conscience? Yep, it sure it. But, alas! I have learned my lesson. Really I have!

“What lesson is that,” you ask. Well, this all goes back to my MAC being broken last week. I was so distraught, but I tried to think of a silver lining. You see, whenever something happens, I try to think of a silver lining. I embarrassed to say that his doesn’t always happen in the beginning, but I do eventually get around to it. But, anyway, back to the lecture at hand. My power cord broke last week. I was so distraught over this because at the time I didn’t know it was the power cord, I thought it was the laptop itself. You see, Dear Readers, a new power cord is about $110, but if it was something else, it would have been totally out of my price range since the warranty expired in September.

But, as I thought about the silver lining (much, much later after I had a good cry) to the MAC being broken, I realized that I spend far too much time on my laptop and not enough with my children. So, I made a resolution to spend less time with my MAC (which was dead for all of last week until I got another power cord) and more with my family. But, do you think I made good on that resolution once I got the power cord this weekend? Nope, sure didn’t! I spent so much time on my MAC this weekend until I realized what I was doing. My little niece Moriah was over & she wanted me to pay attention to her, but I kept pecking away. Phillise wanted me to look at some things, but I only half-heartedly looked as I pecked away.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, ” I said to myself. I wanted to spank myself & put me in the corner. But, no more I say. No more. I am not going to bring any work home this week. I am far enough ahead in my lesson plans (Not science) that I don’t need to bring any work home. Anything I need to do will be done at school during my planning time or after school. Time at home will be reserved for my family.

So, I say again, “Out, out, damn laptop. Out of my lap!”

HERE’S TO 2011!

George Said It!

When I first met George, he told me that I should teach teachers.

“Umm, it’s only my 2nd year of teaching. Just like you,”

“I said. It doesn’t matter,” he said. “You are amazing. You should be helping others.”

I politely thanked him but told him there was nothing special about me. Well, I’ve come to realize that I do see things differently than others. Thanks to my oddities & my entirely different take on things, I am receiving accolades from my current Principal & have been asked to teach the other teachers at my school (5) how to make lesson plans like mine.

As my Principal asked me, I thought back to that conversation two years ago with George. He told me that he thought I should be teaching teachers. Now, it’s actually coming to past. Who knew???

HERE’S TO 2011!

*WARNING!* DO NOT SIGN UP FOR THE BLOG HUB.COM

I was recently alerted that my blog appears, in its entirety, @ thebloghub.com. I couldn’t believe it. I checked it out & simply could not believe it. Not only did I never give them permission to use my post (and make money from it), but I contacted them to take the site down. Do you think they did it??? Well, do you??? The answer is a big fat resounding no. I would like to know if anyone knows of any way to sue them or at the very least, get them to take it down. This is very frustrating. I have never made one thin dime from this blog that I have worked tirelessly on for over 3 long years. This is my baby! How dare they STEAL my intellectual property!

Before writing this post, I visited the site & it has changed. It’s not an exact copy of my site like it was this morning, but it has the exact same content with my name. I am so mad I could just spit.

***AGAIN, DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT SIGN UP FOR BLOG HUB.COM. THEY WILL STEAL YOUR INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY & MAKE MONEY FROM IT.***

IF ANYONE CAN HELP ME, PLEASE CONTACT ME @ specialedandme@gmail.com

Mangling Songs!

I am not one to be very afraid of making mistakes. How could I be when I am the Karaoke Queen! I am nearly fearless when I at Karaoke with my sisters. Oftentimes I will get up & sing a song I haven’t sung or heard in years. That’s when I learn that the song has more words than I remember. Sometimes even whole verses. This could be very embarrassing, or it could be very funny. I make light of it & laugh as I mangle the song.

That’s how life is. You can be fearful of making mistakes and become very embarrassed when it does happen or you can make light of situations that could be potentially embarrassing. Which one is going to be your song???

How to Increase Higher Order Thinking, Part 2

Here’s the 2nd part of How to Increase Higher Order Thinking:

Taken directly from Reading Rockets.com

Strategies for enhancing higher order thinking

These following strategies are offered for enhancing higher order thinking skills. This listing should not be seen as exhaustive, but rather as a place to begin.

Take the mystery away

Teach students about higher order thinking and higher order thinking strategies. Help students understand their own higher order thinking strengths and challenges.

Teach the concept of concepts

Explicitly teach the concept of concepts. Concepts in particular content areas should be identified and taught. Teachers should make sure students understand the critical features that define a particular concept and distinguish it from other concepts.

Name key concepts

In any subject area, students should be alerted when a key concept is being introduced. Students may need help and practice in highlighting key concepts. Further, students should be guided to identify which type(s) of concept each one is — concrete, abstract, verbal, nonverbal or process.

Categorize concepts

How to Increase Higher Order Thinking (H.O.T.), Part 1

How to Increase Higher Order Thinking

Taken directly from Reading Rockets.com

By: Alice Thomas and Glenda Thorne (2009)

Parents and teachers can do a lot to encourage higher order thinking. Here are some strategies to help foster children’s complex thinking.

Higher order thinking (HOT) is thinking on a level that is higher than memorizing facts or telling something back to someone exactly the way it was told to you. HOT takes thinking to higher levels than restating the facts and requires students to do something with the facts — understand them, infer from them, connect them to other facts and concepts, categorize them, manipulate them, put them together in new or novel ways, and apply them as we seek new solutions to new problems.

Answer children’s questions in a way that promotes H.O.T.

Parents and teachers can do a lot to encourage higher order thinking, even when they are answering children’s questions. According to Robert Sternberg, answers to children’s questions can be categorized into seven levels, from low to high, in terms of encouraging higher levels of thinking. While we wouldn’t want to answer every question on level seven, we wouldn’t want to answer every question on levels one and two, either. Here are the different levels and examples of each.

Level 1: Reject the question

Example:
“Why do I have to eat my vegetables?”
“Don’t ask me any more questions.” “Because I said so.”

Level 2: Restate or almost restate the question as a response

Example:
“Why do I have to eat my vegetables?”
“Because you have to eat your vegetables.”

“Why is that man acting so crazy?”
“Because he’s insane.”

“Why is it so cold?”
“Because it’s 15° outside.”

Level 3: Admit ignorance or present information

Example:
“I don’t know, but that’s a good question.”
Or, give a factual answer to the question.

DISCRETE VS. DISCREET

Is there a difference between the words Discrete & Discreet? They look the same, sound the same and have the same letters. I don’t think this will be a question that’s asked often. I only happened to chance upon the word discrete as I was reading an article with the word discrete in it in relation to learning to read. I thought it didn’t “fit”, so I looked it up. When I did, this is what I found:

USAGE The words discrete and discreet are pronounced in the same way and share the same origin but they do not mean the same. Discrete means ‘separate, distinct’ (: a finite number of discrete categories), while discreet means careful, judicious, circumspect ( you can rely on him to be discreet ).

Main Entry: dis·crete

Pronunciation: \dis-ˈkrēt, ˈdis-ˌ\

Function: adjective

Etymology: Middle English, from Latin discretus

Date: 14th century

1 : individually distinct
2 a : consisting of distinct or unconnected elements

— dis·crete·ly adverb

— dis·crete·ness noun

Main Entry: dis·creet

Pronunciation: \di-ˈskrēt\

Function: adjective

Etymology: Middle English, from Anglo-French discret, from Medieval Latin discretus, from Latin, past participle of discernere to separate, distinguish between

Date: 14th century

1 : having or showing discernment or good judgment in conduct and especially in speech

— dis·creet·ly adverb

— dis·creet·ness noun

* Not that many will be asking, but here’s the answer if someone does.*

Things I Simply Refuse To Do…

I was talking to my husband yesterday about being a good teacher. I don’t like to brag, but I do toot my own horn when it comes teaching. There are not many things I consider myself excellent at, except teaching & being creative (crafts).

I refuse to:

• water grass that’s already green. By this I mean giving the “good” kids attention. I’m not saying I ignore them. I’m just saying they get enough attention from being “good”. The “bad” kids are the ones that need positive attention. They need that to stop being the “bad” kid. I “water” them. I make sure they get the positive reinforcement they need; whether it’s a high-five for not disrupting the class for 5 minutes; or a gold star for completing a task. For all intents and purposes, they are brown, wilting grass. They are the ones that need watering the most.
• disrespect a child & treat them as if they don’t matter,
• treat a “bad” kid like they are bad,
• not give my all,
• be content with second best,
• let a child out of my classroom without higher self-esteem, higher test grades, etc….

It is my job as a teacher to do all of this and more. Here’s to putting this into place @ my next job.

Redefine Your Definition Of Reading!

Hello dear readers. I am asking you to redefine your definition of reading. As a Special Education Teacher, I have had to redefine it myself. Since I am a reader, I tried to make my students readers. Well, that just wasn’t realistic. While most of them did learn to love reading (Which was absolutely fantastic!), there were three of them who never would. I had Mild Mental Retardation (MMR), the other I suspected of having MMR, and the other was so frustrated with all of his years of not being able to read that he simply refused to pick up the habit.

I had to stop myself from getting depressed about the three that I failed. That’s when I thought about the 10/13 of my students who did become readers. That is no reason to get depressed. That is cause for celebration. Accomplishing something like that is absolutely phenomenal. I had high hopes that actually came true. Do you have any idea how that feels?

So, I rejoiced for the ten who successfully learned to love reading, while I made a plan for the ones who did not. I’d known about audio-books for awhile, but was loathe to do anything about it because it wasn’t “reading” as I saw it. I realized I had to rethink that definition. I know I can’t possibly save everyone, but I had to try other methods. I wasn’t going to just give up.

Book Club Information

I’m so excited about my Book Club. Every year, I always make up a packet. This year I’m making my packets up from a combination of sources. Here they are:

• LAPL summer reading program bag & folder,
• Borders reading club flyer for free book [pdf],
• Barnes & Noble reading club (Click on the first button- Download Passport),
• various activities from the internet.

I also printed:

• Ben 10 bookmarks
• Marvel comics bookmark
• Princess bookmarks
• Tinkerbell bookmarks 1, 2, & 3
• Coloring pages
• Mysterious Benedict Society activities which include learning Morse code, puzzles, & discussion guide (Bookmark #2 is actually the study guide, while bookmark #3 is the bookmark with the first book on one side and morse code on the opposite side)

Since I have a laminator and I like for my bookmarks to be thick, I cut the bookmarks and laminate them back to back. I place them opposite each other so, no matter what, my bookmark is never upside down. I know that it may not bother other people, but it bothers me, so I do what I need to do.

FREE BOOKS!

***WARNING*** This post is very long, but worth it.

Signing up to receive the Reading Rockets newsletter was one of the best things I’ve signed up for. According to their website, “Reading Rockets offers a wealth of reading strategies, lessons, and activities designed to help young children learn how to read and read better. Our reading resources assist parents, teachers, and other educators in helping struggling readers build fluency, vocabulary, and comprehension skills.”

It’s true. There is a wealth of information. Whenever I have a question that needs answering, the Reading Rockets website is one of my first stops. In fact, I recently found an excellent source for free books this morning. I’ve included the list right here, but if you want to see it for yourself, here’s the link.

National book giveaway programs

Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library

Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library, developed in 1995 for her hometown of Sevier County, Tennessee, has been replicated in communities across the United States to bring books into the homes of preschool children. Through the program, all children in a participating community are enrolled at birth or when they move into the community. Each month, from the day the child is born until their 5th birthday, a selected book arrives at the mailbox. The Dollywood Foundation has developed the delivery system, negotiated price, selected the publisher and the individual titles, and created registration and promotional materials. Local champions in the community — businesses, school districts, civic organizations, individuals, or local government — finance the cost of the books and the mailing, register the children and promote the program.

First Book

First Book is a national nonprofit that has provided more than 50 million new books to children in need. In neighborhoods across the country, First Book unites leaders from all sectors of the community to identify and support community-based literacy programs reaching children living at or below the poverty line and provide them with grants of free books and educational materials. The First Book National Book Bank, a subsidiary of First Book, provides new books to children from low-income families using generous donations from children’s book publishers. The First Book National Book Bank distributes large quantities of publisher-donated brand-new books to programs serving children from low-income families. There are 25 to 30 book distributions hosted by the First Book National Book Bank annually at a variety of sites across the United States. The books are free to programs that are able to pick them up or just $0.25 per book to have them shipped.

Getting Ready For The Summer!

Well, it’s that time of year again. There’s only a couple of weeks left until school ends. This year, In California- due to budget cuts- school ends a week earlier than usual. That being said, I have found activities to keep my children busy during these long summer months.

Phillise will be taking FREE art classes, an etiquette class, & will begin her guitar lessons. While David will also take the FREE art classes, etiquette class, & karate lessons. I plan on keeping them very busy. Not keeping them busy enough was my mistake in the past. No more though. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. I’ve made some mistakes along the way. Some I’ve been able to correct. Some I haven’t. Letting my children get away with murder (i.e., sleeping late, no schedule, etc.) was one of my mistakes. So, long story short, this year they will be very busy for the summer.

On that note, I’ve made a list of things every kid needs to get ready for the summer:

• Library card,
• bathing suit,
• lots and lots of books,
• a plan to get into something,
• a bus pass or parents to act as chaffeur,
• money for pizza or other fast food,
• summer reading list,
• friends,
• crayons & coloring books,
• a gaming systems,
• & a mindset to relax & party; then do it again the next day, and the next, and the next…

42nd Anniversary Of Martin Luther King’s Death

Upon the request of Lowell Dempsey, I am re-posting this.
This month of April marks the 42nd anniversary of the death of Dr. King and we are commemorating his life and work by creating a memorial in our nation’s capital. The Washington, DC, Martin Luther King, Jr., National Memorial will honor his life and contributions to the world through non violent social change.

Mr. Dempsey put together this micro-site to help get the message out – there are videos, photos, banners, and even a web toolbar that, when used, donates money to the creation of the memorial:

http://mlkmemorialnews.org

After many years of fund raising, the memorial is only $14 million away from its $120 million goal.

Lowell Dempsey,
BuildTheDream.org
Twitter @mlkmemorial
Facebook.com/MLKNationalMemorial

STOP, DROP, & ROLL

The World According To ‘ L’

This directive was taught to us as children by our local firemen; however, I’m tasking you with it as adults. I see you over there; bored with life, and the monotony of it all, but afraid to make any real changes. God wants you to step outside of your comfort zone, and there is no better time than the present.

STOP procrastinating. It can be a thief, which robs you of walking in your destiny.  You’re the right one for the job. Believe it, and know that with each passing moment, there are several missed opportunities.

DROP all of the excuses. Real leaders and doers deal in results, not excuses. Shed the ‘victim’ role that many of you have been wearing like a garment for decades.  Own your decisions and choices, up to this point, and keep it moving.

ROLL through the obstacles and don’t be deterred by them. They are merely building blocks placed there to make you stronger and more appreciative of the journey.

Just know that you have what it takes; now walk it out; claim it; remain steadfast and by all means STOP, DROP and ROLL!

Reposted from Diva Zone’s Daily Dose: http://www.divazonemagazine.com.

YESSSSSSS!!!

Just as “Stand” got me through many hard times. This song got me through many more. This song perfectly captures my experience these past few months. Watch it & you’ll know what I mean. Enough said.

HERE’S TO 2010!

The Quickening vs. Awakening

I am experiencing an awakening of sorts. I don’t know exactly what’s going on. What I do know is that I’m changing. In what capacity, I don’t know. Let me begin by telling you about what happened to me a couple of years ago when I first started teaching. I was so overwhelmed. By the time I finally got the chance to sit down & process the information in the summer, I was on information overload. With all of that information, came the realization that I needed to do something with all of it. I had to assimilate it all before I went crazy. It wasn’t easy, but I did eventually manage to do just that. It was something akin to The Quickening.

Now, I’m experiencing a new sensation. I’d call it an awakening or The Great Awakening, if you will. I’m awakening to the possibilities of life. There are sooooo many. Now that I been delivered from my great battle with depression, I can see. I feel like singing…I can see clearly now the rain has gone. I can see all obstacles in my way. That is the perfect song for me right now because being in the fog, called depression, feels the exact opposite of the lyrics to that song. Unless you have battled depression, you cannot possibly begin to understand how it feels. It saps you of your energy, robs you of your hopes & dreams, and much, much more. In the beginning, I resorted to escapism. I’d watch a lot of t.v., retail therapy (shopping), or whatever else provided a break from reality. Towards the end, at my worse, when everything seemed hopeless, I wanted to commit suicide. I very nearly gave up.

However, I have had enough of talking about that. All of the negativity, hopelessness, & suicidal thoughts are water under a very tired bridge. I had to get tired of being tired. Once I got tired, I did something about it. First and foremost, I prayed. I also started exercising. Lastly, I researched different cures, both natural & traditional. I became very determined to beat “this thing.”

My whole point is that I have awakened to the possibilities of life. When I experienced the effects of the Quickening, I was inundated with information. Having information & knowing what to do with it are two different things. Information is no good until it’s put to use. Think about it!

HERE’S TO 2010!

A Break!

I’ve been through much in the past couple months. I was in a very dark place. I was battling very serious depression. I tried to stay consistent in writing this blog, but I had to take a break to clear my head. I could not see my way out. I felt like a prisoner in my head. So out of control. That is such a terrible feeling. I don’t know what I could have done differently to avoid going through what I just went through. All I know is that I’m back to being me. I am so happy about that. I have to say that I will never, ever, ever go back to that dark place I just came from! Never. I like me just the way I am. Thank you very much.

HERE’S TO 2010!

As Long As You Got A Good Book!

As the title states, as long as you got a good book, time passes by faster. I always have a book in my purse. It’s a good thing I carry extra-large purses (A habit left over from carrying diaper bags.). Today, as I was getting new brakes, I simply pulled out my book, the third in The Secret series by Pseudonymous Bosch. I really liked the series. I will be posting a review later on.

HERE’S TO 2010!

About That Post…

Yeah, about that post a couple days ago. I DO NOT apologize for it. That was how I was feeling. I do, however, apologize for the language. I was so distraught. I can honestly say that it was THE lowest emotional & spiritual point of my life. I have never felt the way I felt that day. I have always believed in God. Although lately it has been in an agnostic kind of way. I still believed in a higher power. That was not the case the other day. The other day I simply refused to believe that there could be a higher power even. I mean seriously, with all the stuff I’ve been going through as well as what I see in the world. I didn’t want to continue.

So, what has changed since then? I don’t know. One thing that I’ve experienced in my lifetime is the belief that God does not put more on you than you can bear. Again, the other day, I did not find that to be the case. I have said that I am at a breaking point before but did not break. I was broken. There is simply no other way to put it. I was spiritually & emotionally broken. It was written all over my face & body. My shoulders were slumped. I had nothing left to give. I couldn’t even smile. I didn’t want to smile.

But, let me get back to what I was saying. What has changed? I gave up & completely & totally broke. Why is that? Is that a requirement of committing to God? Do you have to be broken? I wish I had the answer to myself, dear reader. I’d write a book about it if I did. That’s all I have to say.

HERE’S TO 2010!

Shortest Resolve In History…

I was so gung-ho last night. I decided that I needed to change my negative way of thinking. I was so inspired by my nephew who just moved back home last night. He’s so positive that some of it rubbed off on me. Well, that optimism lasted for less than a day. Why you ask?

Well, God just isn’t on my side.

• I can’t buy a job to save my life,
• I’m behind on so much stuff,
• I hate life. Sometimes I curse the day when I wake up,
• I just got a fucking ticket for not stopping at a stop sign. You sure can tell the state of California needs money.
• I’ve decided that I do not believe in God the way I used to. I’ve decided he’s not in the habit of helping me out for the past couple years. So, I don’t choose to believe in him anymore.

My power of positive thinking lasted for less than 24 hours. I think I like my negative way of thinking. It obviously works for me. As a man thinketh, so is he!

Must Love Dogs???

This weekend I watched (you guessed it) Must Love Dogs starring  Diane Lane & John Cusack. I won’t bore you with the particulars. The part that I want to blog about is when Diane Lane & John’s characters finally go out on a date & he asks her what her story is.

“What do you mean?,” she asks.

He tells her that people are brutally honest when they first meet each other. The problem begins once you’ve been together for awhile, when you get bogged down with the minutiae of everyday life, resentments & water under the bridge. So, he tells her his story, but she doesn’t really tell him hers. She holds back a little. Maybe she forgot they were in the beginning where she could be completely honest! ;D

Well, that’s my point today. I have so many questions in my head dealing with John Cusack’s statement. I’ve found that I have a hard time getting to the heart of things with people I’ve known for a long time. I can no longer be brutally honest. I don’t know how to conquer this problem. I feel like I’m going backwards sometimes. I’m having problems with a long-standing relationship because of this. I know I’ll get past this. I’m looking forward to it!

HERE’S TO 2010!

A Lazy Saturday!

Today was a lazy Saturday. I was disappointed because I’d planned to go to Souplantation for breakfast. Unfortunately they only serve breakfast on Sundays. I didn’t get a chance to eat that great Souplantation breakfast buffet, but this is what I learned this morning:

1.) It’s okay to change your mind sometimes,

2.) A message on Facebook told me that I see things as I am, not as they are. I immediately agreed that it was true. It’s like I have some type of blockage all around me. I keep trying to deal with this particular issue of mine, but cannot seem to get past a certain point. Even though it’s tough, I will continue on,

3.) I can control my emotions and not let my emotions control me,

4.) Last, but not least, family is so important.

Maybe today wasn’t such a lazy day after all.

HERE’S TO 2010!

The Perfect Reply…

I was just thinking about a scene from You’ve Got Mail where Meg Ryan wishes she could have the perfect reply. She’s always at a loss for words when it comes to telling someone what she really thinks when she’s in an argument with them. Well, the time comes & she does have the perfect reply. The only thing is that she regrets it the instant she says it.

Have you ever had that happen to you? Well, I had it happen to me & it was just like Meg Ryan’s moment of epiphany. I felt no satisfaction. In fact, it was the exact opposite. I felt so terrible afterwards. I apologized, but that’s the funny thing about words- once they’re said, they’re said. I guess the perfect reply really isn’t a perfect reply after all.

I guess the next time you have the perfect reply…you can just keep it to yourself!

HERE’S TO 2010!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

As the title says, HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone. I just know this year is going to be a better year than last. I’m know it. I am so looking forward to it. Here’s to 2010!

Mission Impossible Assignment: #4 (Hold On!)

Dear readers, this post is totally not like the other Mission Impossible Assignment of Holding On. I was positive then. Right now, that is not the case. Yes, this theme is becoming redundant. I am in the dumps. I have been fighting it, but so far, it’s winning. It’s so bad, I don’t even want to get my hair done or shop. I know, oh Horror! I’m so tired. I thought my life was getting better. I’m not saying the problem I have hanging over my head is bigger than God, but I just don’t see how things are going to work out. Not only am I stopped from getting a job in L.A.U.S.D., but it’s hurting my chances at getting a job in other districts. You see this is all because of my ex-boss who blacklisted me.  She had no reason to do what she did. Initially I was questioning God and why he would let this happen. But this has nothing to do with God.

But, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that KARMA is a bitch. She will get hers but good. You know what, I’m going to see it. When my husband got rudely fired from his job with no explanation, we were shocked. We didn’t understand. He was fantastic at his job. He actually, literally gave his company a million dollar idea and got no absolutely no compensation. NONE. So, we were very shocked when he was fired and blacklisted. We found out the reason why. It took about a year, but we found out the reason why. The CFO was embezzling money- to the tune of $250,000. He thought my husband knew. But he didn’t. He fired Phillip to cover his own ass. The good part in all of this is that my husband was totally vindicated. Dookie, as I like to call him, fired Phillip by sending a messenger on Sunday telling him not to come in with no explanation. However, Dookie was escorted out of the lobby on a crowded day while handcuffed by the police. KARMA catching up to him? You bet. I would like to say I took the high road and didn’t take any glory in his displeasure, but I’d be lying. I was jumping around, doing cartwheels, & laughing at the top of my lungs. That bastard got his and so will ???.

Never Would Have Made It by Marvin Sapp

God Always Has A Plan B! Part 2

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the path of righteousness for his namesake. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me… Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies…Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. Psalm 23

When I was in church a couple of weeks, the preacher, Caleb, spoke on this very scripture. Imagine my surprise at finding myself in the very situation of being in the valley of the Shadow of death just a couple weeks later. When the preacher spoke on this, I simply thought this was a great sermon. I liked it but only had a small personal connection to it. Now that I feel I’m in the valley of the shadow of death, I feel the connection to this sermon even more.

This is how I feel right now. I feel like I’m not really living life. I feel like I’m being tortured. My life has been really hard for the past couple of years. If I’m not experiencing financial hardship, then I’m experiencing emotional hardship. It always one bad thing or another. Murphy’s law- If it could go wrong, believe me when I say that it has gone wrong.

I’m extremely disappointed in my early warning “system”. Usually I can feel when something is going to happen- good or bad. I’ll have an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don’t know why, but it didn’t happen this time. I feel sideswiped. Because I was so taken by surprise, I am having a hard time recovering. When something happens to me, I like to withdraw to my little cave. I’ve been told that I’m like a man in that  respect. But, I digress.

I am so distraught. I feel like nothing has been going my way for a couple of years now. I thought things were different. I thought my life was going to get better, but it’s just one trial after another. I really feel like giving up. I don’t feel like I’m living life, I feel like I’m being tortured. I know. I know. I know life is not fair, but life sucks. It sucks so bad. I know this is going to pass. It always does. It’s just what happens in the meantime. All the hell I have to go through as I go through the valley of the shadow of death. But, I will prevail. I know that God is with during this travail through the valley of the shadow of death. I’d just like to know when is it going to end?

God Always Has A Plan B!

Ok, so I’ve been screwed over, but I don’t have time to stop or worry about that now, I still need a job. I am going with Plan B. I will begin applying @ Charter schools & private schools. I don’t have a choice. I know I will make a difference no matter where I go, so onward I march.

Ghosts Of Hair & Clothes Issues Past!

I wish I felt like this when I was younger, but I didn’t. This book and all it represents reminds me of a situation I’m dealing with right now. I have been very upset lately with someone that I am very close to. It has to do with a young female relative. You see, this person is so extra, super-dee-duper, ridiculously cheap. She doesn’t buy her little girl any pretty clothes. Nor does she fix her hair nicely. It’s doubly bad because this person is a hairdresser. Needless to say, this little girl is very insecure. She told me that Phillise is so much smarter, prettier and has better clothes than her.

I really felt like crying when she told me this. I had to tell her that she is pretty and that she had nice clothes too. To which she replied, “My clothes are dark and ugly. They’re like boy clothes.”

“Phillise’s are much prettier. They’re girl colors,” she said.

I felt like crying again. How can I help her? She has no confidence. Her hair, at times, is like whateeever. He clothes are too small and sometimes very outdated. What do I do? I bought her a couple of things when she went shopping with me & Phillise, but I don’t have the funds to do that all the time. I want her to have confidence. How do I approach her mother about treating her better?

Right about now, you may be asking, what does this bother me? What does this have to do with me? Well, I grew up really poor. There were always so many of us, with not enough money to go around. Put it this way, we always had more month at the end of our money. I was always so jealous of the girls at school who had pretty clothes and hair. Don’t even talk about Hello, Kitty! stuff. One of my classmates had a lot. I would look enviously at her cute little trinkets and wish I had them. That’s why I made a vow to myself that when I had a daughter, I would buy her nice clothes, shoes, and cute little trinkets. Did I keep my part of the bargain? Yes, I sure did. I don’t go overboard and overspend, but I do keep my little girl looking as cute as can be. I know how to bargain hunt. I can buy her a whole outfit (top & bottom) for less than $20. So, can my relative’s mother. That’s why I am so mad about this particular situation. It reminds me too much of my situation when I was younger. My mother didn’t have the money. That didn’t make me any less furious, but at least there was a reason. This person has no reason. She’s such a cheapskate and her little girl is suffering. I’m not saying she should spend an insane amount of money on this child’s clothing, but she needs to try.

I really need to work through this. I don’t have a choice. I do not need to put my own feelings in this but, it’s such a tender spot, I can’t help it. I will work my way through this, dear readers. I’ll come out on top. I always do.

Until next time!

A Pack of $5 Stickers vs. Using What You Already Have!

Yesterday after I picked Phillise & my niece, Melodee, up from school, I decided to stop by Michael’s. We hadn’t been there all summer, so I figured it was high time we did. Initially, I thought about buying some stickers, but thought about the 1,000 we already had at home. (Translation: I was being a big fat cheapskate). However, Phillise didn’t have that problems. She had $2 to spend and by golly she was gonna’ spend it. She picked up a pack of stickers that we thought were $2.99. She told me that she’d find her extra dollar in her drawer and pay me when we got home. So, I told her okay. The problem began when the stickers rang up for $4.99 instead of $2.99.

“Uh-oh, honey,” I said. “Those stickers are waaaaaay too much.

After I asked the cashier to remove them, I told her that she would just have to use what we had @ home. She really tried to get me with her big puppy dog eyes, but I stayed strong. As I was driving home, trying not to look @ the tears welling up in her eyes, I thought about how privileged she is. When I was younger, I yearned for stickers and scissors that cut wavy lines. I didn’t have the privilege of having 3 die-cutting machines, 2 binding machines, a laminating machine, and a whole host of brightly colored markers, crayons, and pretty paper. So, I thought to myself that she could make do with all of the stuff we have at home. No need for $5 stickers. She can use what we already have.

Until next time, dear readers!

Sister!

Sister
Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Love the ones who don’t just because you can.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Kiss slowly.
Forgive quickly.
God never said life would be easy.
He just promised it would be worth it.

Why The Sneer?

Okay, dear readers, this is my rant. I got a lil’ something to say it, here it goes. My daughter, Phillise, has had great teachers during her short time in school. I’ve had great relationships with them all. They’ve all been really nice with sparkling personalities. That is…up until now. Her current teacher is not mean, she’s just not as personable as the others. She’s kinda’ dry with little personality. The first day I met her on the first day of school, she was very dry. I didn’t really care for her then, but decided to hold off on forming an opinion. Well, last night, @ back to school night, I made up my mind about her. I really don’t like her. She made a comment about Phillise’s writing; that she thought it was really good and that my baby is very creative.

I know you’re probably thinking, Well, what made you mad? She’s complimenting your child. Okay, I’ll get to it.

I told her that Phillise was no stranger to books, as we have a small library in our house. I also told her that she knows how to do book reports and how to make and bind her own books. I also told her that we were colleagues, since I’m a teacher.

“Yes, Phillise told me that you’re a special ed. teacher,” she said with a sneer.

Did I miss something? The last time I looked, a special ed. teacher is a teacher is a teacher. I work so hard. It’s unfortunate that some people still think that special ed. teachers are babysitters.

Once I realized she was sneering. I told her that I was no babysitter and that I teach my students OCR. I was so mad at myself for explaining anything to her. If she believes that I’m a babysitter, so be it. I don’t owe anything to her. I could gone on, but I won’t. That’s all I have to say.

That, my dear sir or madam, is my rant for the day!

An Interesting Discussion With David…

I just had an interesting discussion with David regarding his homework. For his Social Studies class, he had to dissect a Bertolt Brecht poem. It was very enlightening. Let me just say that I am very pleased with the curriculum @ his school. To be discussing Bertolt Brecht, his philosophy, using inference in relation to his poetry; namely his poem, “A Poem from a Worker Who Reads.” Discussing this with my 7th grader makes for an amazing conversation. It helps him with his higher level thinking. I’m also looking forward to discussing Dakota’s college reading homework with him. Isn’t being a parent great?

Classroom Discipline 101

I am very excited. I just found an excellent Classroom management blog. The author is a 20 year veteran of some of L.A.U.S.D.’s toughest schools. I have not purchased this book yet, as funds are low. But, I will purchase it as soon as I can. It looks very promising. I will let you know if it’s worth a purchase or not. Or, if you buy it before I do, let me know. Drop me a comment. For now, here’s the website: Classroom Discipline 101

Yesterday’s Los Angeles Black Book Expo

Yesterday’s LABBX was fantastic. I made a couple of connections. I met author L.A. Banks, author of The Vampire Huntress Legends series.

Most notable was meeting E.P. McKnight, actress & author of Words ‘n’ Action- Inspiration for the Human Spirit for valley moments in life. Her book was so powerful. I was low on funds, so I had no intention on buying it. I’d just planned to browse. So, I picked it up, just to browse through it. I opened right to her poem entitled, The Examination. I read the first two lines and started tearing up.

“What is going on here?” I thought to myself. This is so unlike me. I don’t like crying in public. So, I laid the book down and wiped my tears away.

“Let’s try this again,” I said. So, I opened the book and started tearing up again.

“Are you serious,” asked the author.

Yes, I am. This poem is beautiful. I can’t believe it touched me so deeply. This is not like me to cry in public. I’m so embarrassed.

“It’s okay,” she said. Let me give you a hug. So, she came around to give me  hug. By this time, I’m tearing up so bad that I’m very nearly crying. I asked her how much the book was, I paid her and left.

She gave me her contact information and asked me if there was anything she could do for me. Even though it was a little embarrassing, it was a great experience. I am so happy to have met her and bought her book.