The Jacket!

Dear Readers,
I purchased this lovely Trina Turk cropped blazer. I got it at a beyond wonderful price. Why am I upset then? Well, it seems I put on a bit of weight and I can’t fit it. Who can fit it? My baby girl, who @ 12 years old is 5’6 and towers over me. Since she is shaped like her dad’s side of the family she’s nice and slender.
She is very supportive of me and challenged me to lose the weight to get into the jacket by October. If I don’t slim down by then enough to button it, then she gets to keep it. Guess I need to get on the ball!
In order to keep myself honest, I will post some before pics. I will also post pics in October. Here’s to getting into that Trina Turk jacket! Bye for now.

Coaster & the Gigglers!

As I was walking out of the Main Office at lunch time, I saw Coaster outside brooding.

“What’s wrong,” I asked.

He said, “The girls are doing something terrible!”

Knowing Coaster and his propensity for exaggerating and brooding on the most minute of offenses, I asked what the girls were doing.

“Well, they are laughing and talking really loud. Mrs. L. had to send me down to the office to concentrate!”

I kinda’ giggled at that myself. I’m not a monster; let me explain. It was kinda’ a ha ha! funny laugh at the fact that I’m a victim of my own success. I worked with him on expressing himself. Now, there’s no stopping him. He does it all the time. I’m not complaining though. I’d much rather have this version of him than the one from a couple of years ago when he didn’t interact with other students.

I’m happy that he felt comfortable enough to talk to me. On a side note, another person he feels comfortable talking to is the new Principal. As I walked down the hall before the bell rang, I saw him sitting in the his office “expressing himself. “

So, all in all, I guess it was a good day. I’m happy that he’s expressing himself. I’m going to get on those girls when I return to my class after Christmas break. I know they’re just being girls, but they talk a looooooooooooottttttttt!!!

I’m tired. It has been a long couple of weeks. I have so much to write about. I’ll, more than likely, do it on the weekend. Bye for now!

What I Cannot Change!!!

I was listening to the radio this morning and was pleasantly surprised to hear LeAnn Rimes-Cibrian. She is one of my favorite singers. Her voice is super fantastic. I listened to her explaining her story regarding her and her husband, how she was sorry about how things happened with their other spouses. She seemed truly sorry. She even wrote a song about it called What I Cannot Change. It’s really beautiful. It made me think about my life. How I wish it would have gone the way that I’d planned it. Who doesn’t, right?

I have been feeling sorry for myself a lot lately. This song, however, has made me realize that I need to accept what I cannot change. Take a listen to this song. It’s very beautiful!

The Meaning of Life…


Does anyone remember the show Step by Step? There was this really air-headed character by the name of Cody. Cody & the other characters on the show had a contest to see who could stay up the longest? Well, the longer they were woke, the smarter and less air-headed Cody became. He was just about to discover the meaning of life when he passed out from delirium and lack of sleep.

Well, my experience is the exact opposite. When I am not getting enough sleep, I get delirious, but not smarter. In fact, I do what I call Midnight Thinking. It’s the time when you think you are putting out brilliant thought after thought, when, in fact, you are actually kickin’ kaknowledge.

So, I said/wrote all that to say that I have been having mind-blowing revelations lately. With a little downtime, I’ve been able to clear my mind & come up with some badly needed answers in my personal & professional life.

I was also thinking about how this blog never fully recovered after I posted about losing faith a couple of years ago when I was having such a hard, hard time in my life. I was expressing my disillusionment & loss of faith. I was having trouble with the saying, “God never puts more on you than you can bare!” I took issue with that because I felt like I did have more on me than I could bare. I simply shut down. I haven’t fully recovered, partially because nothing has really changed. But, since this blog cannot take another hit like I did a couple of years ago, I will simply keep it to myself.

I was also thinking about attraction between two people. What makes one person believe they have to have that one special person?

I was also thinking about my plans for next year. This, as per the last couple of years, has been a hard year for me, both personally & professionally. I can only hope that the next school year will be better.

I have so many, many thoughts in my head that need to come out. However, I can’t seem to organize them. When I can’t, I get a post like this. I’ll try to keep it together.

The Day I Saw My Mother-in-Law’s vagina!

worst-weekAh, the day I saw my mother-in-law’s vagina. What a catchy title? You just have to read this post now, don’t you? Trust me, this post is not going to be what you thought it was going to be about. This post is about a couple of things. Like to hear them, here they are:

  1. Why I don’t play classical music anymore.
  2. Why does, “Aha, aha…,” mean?
  3. Why I don’t share my blog address with many people.
  4. How I came up with the title, “The Day I Saw My Mother-in-Law’s Vagina”

I know, with a title like that, I have a lot of explaining to do, so here goes: When I first started at my site last year, I used to play classical music to calm the students down. However, one time the Principal came into my room and instructed me to turn it off. She said that it was too distracting. So, I had to stop. Even though it was working, I had to stop. That’s why I stopped playing classical music in my classroom.

Now, that leads me to my second point of “Aha!…Aha!…” In the movie Princess Bride, Billy Crystal’s character would make these silly little points that had absolutely no point. Once someone would question him about the meaningless “points”, he would hold up his finger and respond, “Aha!…Aha!…” The questioner would be left with a blank look wondering why in the world he thought he’d proven a point when he absolutely did not. That wraps up my second point and brings me to my third point of why I don’t share my blog address with many people at my work site.

Well, the main reason that I don’t share my blog address with many at my work site is because a couple of them are scared of Special Education. They remember how the students used to be before I came. Some of them still choose to see them like that even though they’re not like that anymore. They just have a hard time changing their way of thinking about special ed. Everything was fine until Nu. Now, this lends credence to what people were saying, “See! I told you how those Special Ed kids are!”

Well, the problem is that recently I decided to share my blog address with a couple of teachers @ school. So, right now, I’m not sure who’s reading this. But, since I don’t work at that job site anymore, it’s not all that important. Let’s move on!

Lastly, to wrap this up, I used to watch this great (recently cancelled) show, “Worst Week”? Well, what does this show, seeing my mother-in-law’s vagina, not playing classical music anymore, why I don’t share my blog address with a lot of people, and “Aha, aha…,” have to do with anything? Okay, well, just wait a little bit longer and I’ll bring it back around.

On the show, “Worst Week,” the main character, Brian, who’s a writer, is always doing stupidly destructive things. All kinds of crazy, out-of-the-ordinary kinds of things happen to him. He’s like an accident magnet- accidents are so drawn to him.

Well, Brian tells the story of how, in a quirky twist of fate, he saw his mother-in-law’s vagina. In the show, Brian and his fiancée are making an appointment to see the gynecologist because, unbeknownst to the family, his fiancée, Mel, is pregnant. What they don’t know is that his M-I-L is also going to the gynecologist. But she’s old school so she doesn’t talk about stuff like that.

When it’s Sam & Mel’s turn to go in, he’s busy doing something else, so he doesn’t go in with her. Now he doesn’t know which room she’s in. In order to find out which room she’s in, he gives the nurse the last name and the nurse tells him the room number. Or so he thinks!

Anyway, to shorten the story and keep it moving, suffice it to say that Sam ends up seeing his M-I-L’s vagina. He tells the guys about it and it somehow makes its way back to the boss who tells him to write about it. He does and as usual, some mishap occurs. His M-I-L ends up with the story. He wanted to write it to get it out, but didn’t want to publish it. That’s what predicament I find myself in.
I have this fantastic story to tell but I can’t tell it. So, learning from Brian’s mistake I won’t even publish that story. I will simply be content and settle for telling it to my husband, my sister and Traci.

It’s funny how somethings can be seemingly unrelated, yet they conspire to bring about a revelation that most people (those who aren’t odd & quirky like me) wouldn’t connect. I know. It took a long time to bring it around, but it was kinda’ funny. What I’m basically trying to say is that I have this really funny story to tell that I cannot tell for various reasons.

On a final note, I could totally have written for Seinfeld. I’m just saying!

Getting Ready For My Party!

I am getting ready for my big Valentine’s Day/Anniversary party tomorrow. I rented the tables earlier. They will be delivered shortly. I have this little theme going on- my colors are red, black, or pink. So, there will be one red table, one pink table, and one black table, with the chairs and the chair covers with bows. To complement the tables, I got a dozen balloons- 4 red, 4 pink, and 4 black. I am so excited. I am decorating the house right now. I have red and pink bulbs that I am going to hang from the ceiling in my dining room, as well as various heart decorations.

I purchased decorated take-out containers from Michael’s that I’ve filled with various chocolates for the chocoholics. I have chocolate covered fortune cookies, love coupons, and love lotto lottery tickets.
I also purchased some candy in a cute little bottle labeled Love Potion that I will include with the various naughty gifts I’ve bought. I am so looking forward to tomorrow. I’ll post pictures on Sunday. Bye!

Next Thanksgiving…

I have a little something to get off my chest. This happens every Thanksgiving, but it really bothered me the other day. Like to hear it, here it goes

One of my sisters likes to play games. I don’t know why she does, but she does. She is always trying to get out of bringing the Mac n’ Cheese.
“Oh,” she says, “I didn’t know you wanted me to bring it this year.”
(I’m thinking to myself) Well, haven’t you been bringing it for the past couple years? Isn’t that your specialty? Why do we have to go through this bullsh** every year? Why can’t you just bring the g**damn Mac n’ Cheese? Quit playing games!!!!!!!!!!!
Now ask me if she brought it this year. Well, ask. Nope, she didn’t. The other day I asked her could she bring the greens also. “Okay,” she said. So, when she finally decided to show up, I asked her where the Mac n’ Cheese was, she said…
“Oh, I thought you said you only wanted me to bring the greens”. If steam could really come out of my ears, it would have. So, I have just decided that I am going to learn how to make the Mac n’ Cheese my damn self. I am tired of the games. My family is so big, that it’s potluck. If you’re coming, you’re bringing something. I cannot afford to feed more than 30 people even if it’s for one day. I’ve gotten my recipes (Bobby Flay, Delilah the Mac n’ cheese queen, & Patti LaBelle) and am going to practice. That way I will not be dependent on anyone else for anything. I had my mouth all set for some Mac n’ Cheese. OOOOOO, she made me so mad!!! That, my dear sir or madam is my rant for the rest of the year!!!!!!!

Guess How Smart I Am?

Well, guess!!!

I am so smart that I turned in a paper meant for my second class into my first class. Yep, sure did! I cannot believe I did that. That’s goofy even for me. I had the biggest laugh.The killer part is that I got a 90% on the paper. The only reason that I didn’t get a higher grade is because I didn’t make a connection between the paper and that week’s reading. So guess what I will be doing tomorrow?

Burn After Watching!!!

***This is a review of Burn After Reading***

I just returned from seeing “Burn After Reading” and was sorely disappointed. I thought that surely it was going to be a good movie since there was such a stellar cast. However, I was wrong. I can’t believe that I was left with such a feeling of disgust after seeing it.

The movie basically boiled down to a social commentary on plastic surgery; how we, as a people, will do anything to look good. I was very disappointed. With such a great cast (Pitt, Malkovich, Swinton, etc..), one would think that would make for a great movie. But sadly, it wasn’t so. I give the movie an F-.

Just my thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boy, What A Long Day!

Have you ever answered the phone and wished that you wouldn’t have? Well, yesterday I had one of those phone calls. It’s a long story, so let me just begin now. Yesterday was a long day. Wednesdays always are. That’s the day I go straight from work to school until 9:45.

I’d had a good day at work and a great day at school. But, because it was such a long day, I was still tired when I got home. Usually when I come home, I get right into bed. Last night, for some reason, I just could not unwind and go to sleep no matter how much I tried. So, I just lay in the bed and tried to relax. I look at the clock and notice that it’s about 11:15. Suddenly my phone rings. An unknown number flashes on my cell phone screen.

I figure if someone is calling at 11:15 p.m. either it’s someone who needs my help or a wrong number. So I take a chance and answer it. Big mistake. Big, big mistake. Who should it be but my perpetually-in-need cousin, Shawn. She tells me that she needs a ride to the hospital because her daughter has had an asthma attack. Okay, I sound mean here, but it’s not like that. It was after 11 p.m., I’d been on my feet all day, and had been in school for over five hours. It’s not like I didn’t care. I was just tired. Not to mention that on top of that I still had to get up for work.

I grudgingly took her even though I didn’t want to. I’m almost to the hospital when I notice that my van is pulling to the right. I need a wheel alignment, but I know that something else is wrong, so I start positioning myself to get off the freeway. As I was doing that, I hear a pop. Yep, you guessed it, a flat tire. Thank God I was near an exit and there was light traffic or I don’t know what would have happened.

By the time I get off the freeway, I am rolling on nothing but rim. I immediately pull over, stop the car, and inspect the damage. The tire is shredded. The only thing that I’m thinking is how grateful I am that I wasn’t my usual leadfoot self, and that I was near an exit.

I am so glad that I had my oldest son Sam with me. He changed the tire as I thought about what could have happened. So many things ran through my head. I had to shut them off and just think about how blessed I was that nothing did happen.

With negative thoughts out of my head and sleep on my mind, I sleepily dropped of my cousin and her daughter and headed home. By the time my head hit the pillow it was 1:45 a.m.

Boy, what a long day!

I Nailed It!!!

I had a presentation yesterday in my second class @ B.N.U. I nailed it. My assignment was to analyze the California Department of Education website. I had to summarize the website, detail any relevant websites,  and lastly give my opinion of it.

I perused the website for hours, got the necessary information and took it from there. From the information that I gathered, I was able to do a 20-minute presentation without looking at my notes. I didn’t do it by myself though, I had two partners. One made the Powerpoint, the other one made a really nice, double-sided, tri-fold handout.

My professor thought the presentation was very thorough. I also got compliments from others in the class. I did a pretty good job. Another way that I know the presentation was good is because I overheard someone in my class say that we couldn’t have possibly organized that presentation in two weeks. I was pretty happy with it.

In the immortal words of Hannibal from the A-Team, I love it when a plan comes together.

Results Of My Personality Perception Image Test

NBPC – The Daydreamer

Nature, Background, Big Picture, and Color

NBPC - The Daydreamer

You perceive the world with particular attention to nature. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the colors around you. Because of the value you place on nature, you tend to find comfort in more subdued settings and find energy in solitude. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You are a down-to-earth person who enjoys going with the flow.

If you’d like to take yours, go to:

What Language Do You speak? or (Can You Spare A Square?)

** WARNING- This post is kinda’ long**

Let me begin by saying that because of budget cuts, the district will no longer be paying for hotels for teachers’ training. Nor will they be providing lunch. They provide a continental breakfast (fruit, coffee, juice, croissants, and muffins) to get you there. After that, you are on your own. I know that we’re adults and we shouldn’t expect to be fed breakfast and lunch, but we have gotten accustomed to the star treatment. Now, it’s taken away? That’s why most of the teachers in the training were so uncomfortable. We were in a cafeteria on the benches that are reserved for elementary school students. Factor in no air conditioning and crowding, then you have the making of a bunch of grouchy, irritable people.

As I was thinking about how to put exactly what I was feeling into words, two of my favorite shows came to mind: Star Trek: The Next Generation & Seinfeld, because the situations were so similar. While these two don’t seem to have a lot in common, bear with me. As usual, I will bring it around.

In one of my favorite sci-fi shows, Star Trek:TNG, we viewers are allowed to hear a conversation between the Captain and his adviser regarding his upcoming meeting with an alien race. The adviser tells him to insult the aliens first, before beginning any type of negotiations.

Basically the conversation between the two goes like this: “Are you sure that’s the right thing to do?” asks Captain Picard.

“Of course,” replies his adviser. “That’s their culture, and in order to garner any type of respect from them, you have to open with an insult.”

“Okay,” replies the captain, “as you wish”.

My situation also reminded of an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is stuck in a restroom stall that has run out of tissue. She politely asks the woman next to her if she can spare some tissue.

“No,” comes the reply, “I sure can’t”.

“Not any? Can you just give me a couple squares? Can you spare a square?” asks Elaine.

“No. Sorry!”

Well, Elaine got her back, but good. A couple of days later, Continue reading

What’s Up With That?

I don’t know what’s going on with the feed stats, because I’ve noticed that a couple of people added. Yet, it doesn’t show up to the left. The number of readers haven’t gone up for a couple of months even though a couple of people have added.

I asked this question a while ago, but I have to ask again, “What’s up with that?”

The Time Is Not There Anymore………

Let me start by saying that I, like many others, do not care for too much change. I hate it when something that’s been there forever is suddenly not there anymore. What am I talking about? I’m talking about the time announcement service.

Let’s begin at the beginning, shall we? Just a few minutes ago, I was lying on the couch and did not feel like getting up to look at the clock. So, I did something that I used to do a long time ago… I called the time (853-1234). Oh, my goodness! Boy did I get the shock of my life. While I listened to the recording, I was incredulous. I didn’t hear:

At the tone, the time will be 4:08: 10 seconds.

No. This is what I heard:

Effective Sept. 19, 2007, the time announcement information service has been discontinued. We apologize for any inconvenience.

My hear was broken when I heard that. What am I going to do when the time changes? What am I going to do when I don’t feel like getting up off the couch again?

Of course, I’m just kidding about the last two questions, but seriously, I am going to miss that service. I remember calling it since I was little. But I guess that everything has to change some time or another.

Oh, To Be A Kid Again!

I love that children are so honest. People say that little kids are cruel because they say how they feel. I love it They’re so honest with themselves and everyone around them. Life is so much simpler when you’re a kid. I would take the opinion of a kid over an adult any day. Why??? Because a little kid will tell you, not what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. Although there are some adults out there who will do this also, for the most part, it’s a little kid who will tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

I wrote/said all that to say that I am still harping on this struggling thing that I’m dealing with. It’s like the same thing, but in a different capacity. I’m talking about feeling guilty for the way that I feel. I don’t give myself permission to feel the way that I feel.

The other day I wrote about giving myself permission to do something different. Today, I give myself permission to feel how I feel- no matter what it is. Even the negative stuff. As of today, I give myself permission to be a kid again!

Guess How Smart I Am…

Guess how smart I am???

(I am laughing so hard as I type this!)

I am so smart that I thought it was Saturday. Let me begin my story by saying that I came home from work and took a nap. Okay, that being said, now I shouldn’t sound so crazy as I tell this story.

My little boy and girl came in my room and woke me up to talk to me. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 7:00. Since I was still in a sleepy haze, I thought that it was 7:00 a.m. and that I was running late.

“David, get dressed”, I said.

Mom, it’s Friday. We don’t have to go anywhere.

“Okay”, I said sarcastically. If you want it to be Friday, you let it be Friday, but for me it’s Saturday!

He and Phillise tried in vain to convince me that it was still Friday, but I just wouldn’t hear it. As they left the room, I began to wonder if I’d slept for twelve straight hours. Had I?

No, I hadn’t. I’d only slept for about three hours.

Yeah, that’s how smart I am!!!

Midnight Thinking!

What is midnight thinking? Well, it is a term I made up (although I’m sure someone else thought of it also) when I was thinking about how you think that an idea is so brilliant. At midnight!!! That is, until you wake up the next morning and try to read it. You’re like, what the hell did I write? It makes no sense now, but last night it was brilliant.

confused-look.jpgWell, it really wasn’t. You were just sleepy, typing with one eye open. Yeah, that’s me. I have been doing a whole bunch of that lately. Hopefully I’ll catch up with my work and not have to do too much midnight thinking or writing.

Now that you know, you can sleep better, right? Well, I know I will.

So, until next time people!

The Day Is Over!

I did not want to go to work today. My hair was crazy. I had nothing that I wanted to wear. I was grouchy, etc., etc.
I am so happy that the day is over. I was actually having nightmares about going to school with my hair sticking straight up. My hair looks so crazy from a week of being sick and laying on the couch. I really need a hair appointment.
First of all, I did not think that I would make it through the day. When you’re looking forward to the end of the day when it’s 5:30 a.m., that is so not a good sign.

But, I am out of work, I am out of class, and at home. On that note, I am on my way to sleep.

So, until next time people!

Random Facts About Me

These are some random facts about me:

  1. I have the worst cruch on actor Hill Harper. He’s so brilliant. He has three degrees. Two of which are from Harvard.
  2. I sometimes want to beat my teenaged sons up. I still love them, but that teenage angst is sooooooo overwhelming at times.
  3. I love having a little girl. She’s so girly. She loves to dress up and play with dolls; everything I love.
  4. I wanted a little girl for 10 years before I had her.
  5. In October, it will be 20 years that I’ve been with my husband.
  6. I sometimes count my husband as one of my kids.
  7. My husband thinks he invincible. That’s how he broke his leg in three places recently, which required surgery to repair.
  8. I cannot wait for summer vacation.
  9. I am hoping that my next year teaching will be better than this year.
  10. I stop talking to a former good friend of mine that I’ve known for 22 years. There was no particular reason. We just lost what it was we had. I saw her again tonight. It wasn’t the same though. I remember when we would just laugh for hours over stupid stuff. I don’t know what happened. We just stopped talking. It used to make me really sad to think about. It doesn’t anymore. I don’t know which one is sadder.

Happy Spring Break!

That’s all that needs to be said!

Riding my pink Huffy!

I have been such a little complainer and whiner lately. I don’t like being like that. Even though that is what I revert to when I get stressed, I don’t like it. It is not one of my better character traits. So, I thought I’d take a break and write about a time when I was happy and not complaining. So here goes:

I remember when I was about 8 years old. I got a new pink Huffy. I thought it was quite possibly the best day of my 8 year old life.

In front of the Christmas tree was the most beautiful sight to me. All of my friends had Huffys , but me. I felt so left out. Not anymore. Now I was in the loop.

I had myself a pink Huffy!

The pink leather nearly rectangular seat was the perfect fit. The light pink handle bars were the perfect size for me to reach over to have perfect control of my prized possession.

My dad adjusted the seat to just the right height. I couldn’t wait to ride it. As I hopped on it, I had a feeling of complete freedom as the wind whipped through the air and slapped me in the face as I gleefully rode my brand new, pink Huffy bike. In my mind I said a silent thank you to my dad as I rode off into the sunset. (Just kidding)!

Oh, life was good!

Oh, that effing word…

Yes, I know, this is a site about being a mom, and my first year of teaching. However, it is also about random stuff. So something random I want to talk about is that effing word- the “f” word. I love this word. It is the perfect word to let out frustration.

Example: I hate this effing job, or I can’t effing do this, or I am so effing frustrated. (Believe me, I use the last one a lot because I am so effing frustrated.)

This one word helps to relieve so much stress. I feel so free when I use it because I know that it’s forbidden. I love the way it rolls off my tongue. The way the words hit the air. The shock on someone’s face who isn’t used to hearing it. The overall shock value. It’s priceless!

It’s my go-to word when I need to release some pent up frustration. Here’s to that effing word! Cheers!

Until next time people!

Happy Friday!

Hello everyone. This was a long week. I am happy that it’s over. I need some rest. I have barely had rest the whole week. I am badly in need of rest.

Oh, my oldest son, Sam, got a job yesterday. I was supposed to go grocery shopping, but my middle son, Dakota, had to be picked up as well from his internship. By the time I finished picking up both boys, it was almost 8:00, since Costco closes at 8:30, there was not way I was going to make it. I did make it to the .99 store to get popsicle sticks for my students’ project. They’re doing it now! I guess I’d better help. So, until next time!

What I Want Doesn’t Exist!

I have discovered, much to my chagrin, that what I want either does not exist or I just haven’t found it yet. I am talking about my perfect, ideal job. My perfect, ideal job would be one that would:

  • allow me the freedom that I desire, which means not having to be at work every single day.
  • Random days would be nice.
  • I would like to start later than 9:00 a.m.
  • I would like to get paid twice what I get paid now.
  • It would provide great health benefits.
  • I would still get long, paid vacations.

Now, do you see why I say that it doesn’t exist.

Until next time!

I Got The Writing Bug Again!

I have been up for a couple of hours. I fell asleep while trying to finish the reading for my methods class. I knew that I had to finish the reading and write a reflection paper on the chapter that I read, so I woke up. I just finished. I am so happy about that. I’m also very excited. I love writing. I think this is what re-energized me for school.

I was feeling a little bit overwhelmed as I thought about all the assignments that were due. I didn’t turn in an assignment for last week. I did not remember that it was due. I did, however, do an extra assignment. I know, smart wasn’t it? I wonder if I get extra credit for that! Probably not. Oh well. At any rate, I got a little extra practice writing. C’est la vie! There’s nothing I can do about it now.

Now, getting back to the lecture at hand. I am excited about writing again. I have definitely been bitten by the writing bug again. If I have the time    can make the time When I make the time (Of course I don’t have the time. What? Are you kidding me), I will go back to posting multiple times a day. Oh, that would make me so happy when I first started blogging. If something came to me, I wrote it down.

It looks like I will be going to another Post-a-holic meeting. So, until next time people. Hasta la bye-bye!

Helpless Me!

I have been feeling so helpless lately. I had to leave work two times last week. One time I was dizzy; the other I passed out.

I went to Urgent Care last week, but was still dizzy. The problem: The doctor prescribed Meclizine for me. When I went to pick it up, the pharmacist @ Kaiser West L.A. told me that it was an antacid, or maybe she said an anti-emetic. I tried to clarify the situation but I obviously didn’t get enough because I ended up thinking that the medicine was something that I had at home in my medicine cabinet.

Outcome: I didn’t get the medicine, since I thought it wasn’t necessary. Consequently I had to return to Urgent Care last night.

Reason: I fainted @ work and needed a note to return to work.

Since I didn’t want to go to work and pass out again, I thought it best to stay home and rest. I couldn’t get the medicine from Kaiser. I ended up getting it from Rite Aid. It took about 4 hours to kick in but it finally did. I am so happy that I am not dizzy anymore. That is such a helpless feeling that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Now I can return to work tomorrow without worrying about passing out in front of the children again. I am feeling so much better. I do not want to miss anymore days of work.

Enough about me. On to other things. Until next time people!

What’s In A Name?

I found this site that tells you the meaning of your name. Here’s the meaning of my name. If you would like to check it out, here is the website:

***What Leila Means***

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don’t get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It’s easy to get you excited… which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don’t stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are usually the best at everything … you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic “Type A” personality.

What’s Your Name’s Hidden Meaning?

    Looking Back On 2007

    I have to say I am not sad to see 2007 leave. It was a year or great ups and down. I achieved one of my long term goals of graduating with a Bachelor of Arts in Human Development from Azusa Pacific University. My oldest son graduated from high school and started college. My little girl started kindergarten. I started grad school. I started my first year of teaching.
    On the downside, my credit rating is not so good. I don’t even think that I could get a car loan right now. But you know what? Things will be okay. They always are. It’s all about knowing and believing that God has our back. Our plans are totally different than God’s plans.

    I heard this saying somewhere, but don’t know where. It goes that if you want to make God laught, tell him what your plans are.

    I do believe that I made God laugh a few times. Until next time people!

    Back In The Day

    I was just sitting here thinking about how insecure and not confident I used to be. I was watching the movie “The Wood” and it took me back to that time. Junior High School. Back when schools were called Junior High School instead of Middle School. I was a wreck. Somehow, I got it in my head that I wasn’t good enough. That no matter how hard I tried or how much I did that it wasn’t good enough.

    I didn’t like myself much at all. Then I started thinking about now. Now, I am so confident and secure. I am wondering how did I get from that point, of being a self-conscious, insecure wreck to the confident, secure woman that I am now.

    It had to do with getting to know myself. What I would and would not accept from myself and others.

    I observed those who I thought seemed to exude the confidence that I so badly wanted to have. I surrounded myself with people who had qualities that I felt that I needed to make what I considered a complete person. At the time however, I didn’t know that that was what I was doing. I only knew that I was attracted to what these people had.

    Even though I was flying blind, you don’t have to. Learn from other people’s mistakes and experiences. I didn’t know how to do that. I didn’t even know what questions to begin to ask. Luckily, I’m here for you so you don’t have to.

    Happy Halloween!

    ghosts.jpgTo all those out there who celebrate Halloween, All Hallows Eve, Dia de los Muertos, or whatever you call it, have yourself a ball tonight and do whatever it is that you do!


    natasha2.jpgFeel the rain on your skin
    No one else can feel it for you
    Only you can let it in
    No one else, no one else
    Can speak the words on your lips
    Drench yourself in words unspoken
    Live your life with arms wide open
    Today is where your book begins
    The rest is still unwritten

    Unwritten, by Natasha Bedinfield has been stuck in my head all week. This song being stuck in my head said to me that there are so many things that have yet to be fulfilled; so many things that are yet up to me.

    I fell in love with this song when I first heard it. The lyrics are fresh and challenging. They are a direct challenge to everyone listening to live life to its fullest.

    I identify with this song so strongly because I believe that almost everything has a meaning and significance. To me, this song is telling me to get rid of my fear and my old and outdated beliefs.

    I have a big job ahead of me. I know that no one else can do the job that I’m supposed to do. Here’s to living that impossible dream! The dream that only I can make come true.

    My words, deeds, actions, thoughts and dreams are as yet still unwritten. I’m the determiner of my own destiny. I’ve got to write them and write them well.

    Letting Go!

    It’s a sad fact of life that we have to let go of things that are near and dear to us. All things, no matter what it it, must come to an end. It’s especially sad when it’s a longtime friendship or marriage.


    I was just thinking about the roles that people play in our life. Some people are there for a lifetime, while some are there for a few months. They can disappear just as quickly as they came.

    When something ends, don’t take it personally.

    That’s what I have to keep telling myself so I won’t.

    It, whatever IT was, simply ran its course. When it’s time for something to end, it just does.

    So, when it’s time to let go of something, don’t make a scene. Don’t be a drama queen. It is just time for that relationship to end. Do it with dignity. Let go!

    Deciding To Get Serious!

    I have been such a slacker. I’ve barely been studying or doing my reading. Well, everything caught up to me for my mid-term. I got a “B”. While this may not seem like a big deal, it is. It was stuff that I already knew. I made simple mistakes. I was so mad at myself. So, I have finally decided to get serious and study like I used to. Here’s to no more “B’s, only “A’s”!

    I Just Sold Myself!

    “Call me a prostitute because I just sold myself,” I told my husband when I came home from my job interview yesterday.

    “Okay, that didn’t come out right,” I said.

    What I meant to say is that I potentially talked myself into a job. I sold my skills and qualifications to the Assistant Principals like a pro. I was so proud of myself because I didn’t have to lie. I just answered the questions the best way that I knew how. There was no need to lie because if I did, I would be selling someone else, not myself. I can only be me and answer the way that I would answer. Can you imagine how duped the person who hired me would feel if I answered like someone else instead of myself? Who would they be hiring? Me or the person I’m impersonating?

    First of all, I have way too much pride to try to act like someone else. I’m not in junior high school anymore. I tell myself that I’m a full grown woman. I even act like one sometimes. So why in the world would I want to sell someone else when I’m the best ME that I can be, and the right one for the job.

    All that to say, just be you. No one else can do it better!

    I’m Not Signing That!

    “Nice try, but no dice,” I said to my 16 year old son Dakota as he tried to shove a paper in my face to sign as I was walking out the door.

    My children know the rules. I don’t sign anything in the morning.Why?
    Because I was a teen-ager before and I tried the same thing: trying to get my mother to sign something that I did not want to explain.

    He had all weekend to give me said paper, yet he chose not to. Well, I’m thinking, there has to be a reason for this attempted deception.
    What is it the reason, you ask?

    He was trying to get said paper signed because he got a “D” in his history class.
    This is unacceptable on so many levels.
    First, because this boys’ scores on standardized tests are all Proficient to Advanced. Secondly, he did so well on his PSAT that an organization contacted me so that he could join them and see the world.
    I could go on and on but I’m not. You get the picture!
    He already doesn’t get to watch t.v. or play video games during the week. Now, that privilege is going to be taken away on the weekends. Plus we are upping his daily study time.
    So anytime any of my children ask me in the morning, “Can you sign this mom?”
    My answer is always a resounding NOOOOOO! I’m not signing that!

    Secret (Social) Agent (Of Change) Man!

    ***I couldn’t decide on the title to this post. I was torn between six possibilities: A pile of sh#* by any other name, Reverse racism- what is that?, Secret (social) agent (of change) man?, Call it what it is, Prejudice Hurts!, or finally Education- Is it the Great Equalizer? Of course, I finally decided on Secret (social) agent (of change) man! because it says exactly what I want to say.***

    Now on with the story


    Hey, does anyone out there remember this show from 2000 called “Secret Agent Man,” starring Dondre Whitfield, Dina Meyers, and Costas Mandylor? It was about these secret agents who did impossible tasks, usually all in the name of justice. They were there to help punish those who would commit crimes against humanity.

    What happened to them and people like them? Why aren’t there any people like that in real life? If they were here in real life, would they punish those who unfairly persecute those who are weaker and less knowledgeable than themselves? Would they be there to soothe the hurt caused by prejudice? Would it matter who the perpetrator is or what color they are?

    To answer the question, “No, it wouldn’t matter where it was coming from”. Prejudice hurts no matter who does it or where it comes from. I’ve personally been a victim of prejudice many times. I can tell you that it does not feel good.

    One of the times that I was in the uncomfortable position of being witness to reverse racism, I realized that it doesn’t matter who’s doing it, it stinks regardless. Human feelings are involved, and they don’t have a color.

    Actually, once you think about it, can it be called reverse racism just because a White person was the recipient of the treatment by a Black person? Isn’t racism racism? Call it what it is.

    A pile of sh#* by any other name…

    One time in particular that “reverse racism” happened before my eyes, a while ago, I was at this school and worked with a teacher who just happened to be a white woman. She was a very good teacher; she knew her job well. However, there were certain people who wanted her job. They thought that she didn’t work hard enough, so they decided that her job was the one they wanted. They then proceeded to tell the Principal that they wanted said job. To which the Principal agreed that said person in question should have it. Never mind that the white woman didn’t do anything wrong. Never mind that she’s very good at her job.

    “Let’s just push her out because she’s white,” said unfair people. Continue reading

    A Picture Of Moriah!

    My little sister just gave me a picture of Moriah. Did I mention that I helped deliver her? Isn’t she one of the most beautiful little girls you’ve ever seen? Look @ all that hair. She looks just like my little sister when she was a baby. When my little sister goes out, people always stop her to get a look at Moriah. Can you blame them? Look at that face!

    Thirteen Pet Peeves

    Since starting school, I’ve been so busy that I forgot to post my Thursday’s thirteen last week. So, even though it’s late, here it is. This is thirteen pet peeves of mine:

    1. Poor table manners.
    2. People who wait until the last minute to turn on their blinker.
    3. Cheaters (unless it’s me and Denzel :))
    4. People who don’t pull their own weight.
    5. Coming out of the grocery store to find that someone has left a basket behind your car when the cart thingy is right next to the car.
    6. Selfish people.
    7. People who block the street when all they have to do is pull over.
    8. Condescending people.
    9. An educated fool.
    10. Half-assing it. (If you’re going to do it, do it right.)
    11. Discouragers, otherwise known as haters.
    12. E-mail chain letters, in the guise of Christian e-mails.
    13. Get-over-inskys, otherwise known as people who will do anything to get over and save a buck.

    Frazzled Me!

    I know that this was a long time ago, but does anyone remember Sinbad’s stand-up routine where he talks about how he was so bad. He said that his mother got even with him by having a little sister. He said that she told on everything that he did.

    Well, it’s the same way with my little girl!

    This story goes back, waaaay back. A long time ago, when my older sons were little, whenever I would question them about what was going on, they would never ‘fess up. I could never find out what really happened. Well, I fixed them. I got even with them, but good. I had a little girl too.

    They don’t get away with anything now. Whatever I want to know, or even if I don’t want to know, she tells me. ALL the time! It helps me because I know what’s going on now, but that’s also why I’m so frazzled! She is such a tattle tale. She tells on EVERYTHING! ALL THE TIME!

    I don’t want to stop her from telling for obvious reasons, but it’s wearing me down.

    Help! Does anyone out there have any advice on how to stop a tattletale, without stopping them from telling everything?

    Happy 200th post! Yesterday was my 4 month anniversary! Yay me! Do you think I write too much? So what! Yeah, I’m talkative. Here’s to 200+ more!

    Yay Us!

    Well, today is the first day of school. Today, all of my children will be at school after being at home with me alllllllll summer. Thank goodness because my food budget couldn’t take it anymore. The question is what am I going to do with myself? I don’t have a job yet. I thought that I would by now, but I don’t. So, I am just going to chill and do some reading. I think I’ll go to the library and talk to the librarian. Here’s to all the people who are kid free today after being tortured blessed with our children all day, everyday, during the summer. Yay us!

    Today, She’s My Birthday!

    Today, I have something to say about deceivers. They make me soooo mad. They are always trying some scheme or another to defraud someone. Another thing about that that makes me equally as mad is when they succeed.

    Did you ever see that “I Love Lucy” episode when they were in Italy. It was little Ricky’s birthday and she missed him so much. One of the kids in the village heard her crying because she couldn’t be there for her baby’s birthday.

    To make her feel better, he told her, “Today she’s my birthday.”

    Lucy decided to give him something for it. Once he saw that she was giving gifts, little by little, he started bringing other kids from the village to get some too. She was so excited that she just decided to throw a big party for everyone.

    Finally the original kid starts feeling bad that he had fooled her when she was only being nice that he decided to make all the kids give back their gifts that Lucy had given them. Well, one little girl did not want to give hers back. She started crying and crying. Finally she explained that today really was her birthday.

    Lucy was so happy that she let all the children keep the gifts. Even though they’re little kids, they did get over. Even though they apologized, their original intent was to defraud.

    Ya’ know what, the whole time Lucy knew. She just missed her baby so much that she didn’t care. She knew that the kids in the village didn’t have much; she just wanted to bring a little happiness to them. That’s how it is with real life. Sometimes someone may think that they’re pulling one over on someone when they’re not. Be careful of who you’re friends with, you just might learn a lesson.

    There are certain people who don’t think so though. Why, oh why do people have to play games? They eventually get what’s coming to them in the end, but they hurt so many people in the process. It makes me so mad! I wrote/said all that to say that life is too short to play games.

    That my dear sir or madam is my rant for the day!

    A Peek Into The Mind Of A Crazed Post-A-Holic!

    I was reading this author’s website with interviews from authors who have had books published this year and they were discussing their writing process. I was inspired by that to write about my writing muse and my writing process. I read the article because I wanted a peek inside their heads. How would you like a peek inside the head of a crazed post-a-holic?

    ink-pen-in-head.jpg This is me. It could very well be my self portrait if it weren’t a man. I feel like writing is in me. It is what I do. It is who I am.

    Let me just start by saying that everything inspires me. Everything is a potential post. Since I don’t have to limit myself, every thing’s fair game.

    If I had my way, I would write all day long about whatever popped into my mind. I literally have to stop myself and redirect my mind to something else so that I won’t write. I like to post more than once a day. Nay, I say..I have to post more than once a day. Posting less seems like I’m slacking. When I do something I go all the way. No half-stepping here. That’s why I have somewhere in the neighborhood of 160 posts in only 3 months time. I am the only contributor here, so I’d say that that’s a lot. I’d say I was definitely a post-a-holic. Continue reading


    There are so many things rattling around in my brain that I have to get out. I have had to contain myself all summer from posting multiple times a day as I am a recovering post-a-holic. Seriously it is really hard for me. I just started this blog on May 11, 2007, and I already have more than 150 posts written before this. I have enough post saved up and scheduled to post for the next week and a half. I love writing. I can’t stop it even if I wanted to. The ideas just come to me.

    I just had to write about life and the randomosity (I know that it’s not a real word) of it all. Up one day; down the next. I hate it. This thing we call life-this rollercoaster- is so confusing. I am in such turmoil. I am in the midst of a personal crisis. I am having trouble believing things that I used to believe. Life is funny like that. Ya’ know. You wake up one day and everything is different. What happened? What changed my way of thinking? Why did I stop believing? I don’t know why, but I have. I would like to go back….well, not go back, but just feel the way that I used to feel when I really believed in something. Continue reading

    Happy Birthday Phillip!

    My husband playfully calls me his “old lady.” This is funny because there is only 9 days difference between us. I told him that he must be old too because as of today he is 37 also. So happy birthday to my companion/husband/lover/confidante of 19 years. We have officially been together for more than half our lives.

    Happy 37th birthday baby! Here’s to many more!

    Keep On The SUNny Side!

    aa-es314sun-dance-posters.jpg Aaah, sunrise! My favorite time of day. Everything is so fresh and undisturbed. There’s not as much noise. There are less cars driving by; everything is so still. The day is filled with such great possibilities. Whenever I’ve been through hard times, I have been up at the crack of dawn watching the sun rise. Consequently, whenever I am going through one of the best times in my life, I am up at the crack of dawn to watch the sun rise.

    It’s funny how some things never change.The sun has always been a source of such great contradiction to me. I don’t know if that’s the right word, but I can’t think of the right word that I want to say right now.

    Continue reading

    The Tortoise & The Hare

    Slow and steady wins the race!


    photo credit

    When I first started going to the gym, I felt alone and more than a little intimidated by the women who were already in shape and who seemed to know just what exercises to do. I felt so awkward because I didn’t know how to use the machines while they seemed to be experts. I was trying to figure out how to use the elliptical and feeling rather silly that I didn’t know how when the woman next to me politely leaned over and told me how to get it started.

    After that, I didn’t feel so silly anymore. I also didn’t feel so alone either. I slowly started feeling more comfortable, but there was still the feeling of being too slow and behind. Everyone seemed to be going faster and longer than me on the machine. Some women would come in and just ramp it up. I would look at them in awe until I noticed something; they could only do about 5-10 minutes at that fast pace, while I could do 15-20 minutes at my slow and steady pace. It reminded me of the tortoise and the hare.

    Just then it reminded that everything has a beginning. Maybe the women who look fabulous now didn’t look so fabulous when they were beginning. Maybe they even felt awkward like me. Maybe everyone didn’t feel as awkward as I did, but they felt something. It’s not always easy to go into someplace new; especially a gym. If you’re outta’ shape, it feels like everyone looking at you. If you’re in great shape, it feels like everyone is envious. (Women can be like that sometime.)

    I know that my weight is not going to come off overnight, because it didn’t get there overnight. As far as me and my exercise regimen are concerned, I will stick to slow and steady, because it is a tried and true method. Slow and steady does indeed win the race.

    The Time Has Come, The Time Is Now. Marvin K. Mooney, Will You Please Go Now?

    The time has come, the time is now. Marvin K. Mooney, will you please go now?


    The time has come- for me to teach Phillise how to read, that is. I have been putting off teaching her how to read long enough. I started on it, but was not consistent with it. Today, I decided was the day to get serious. So I went back to and am in the middle of making lesson plans for us for the rest of the week. I’m going to do it one week at a time. I guess I’m homeschooling her for the summer. Boy, I really admire homeschoolers now that I see how hard it is. Especially with your own child!

    I have taught many children how to read. Most notably Dakota, who was reading on a 5th grade level when he was in kindergarten. Somehow I fell of the wagon like I tend to do. I didn’t teach David how to read. By the time he was ready to learn, I had had Phillise. He started pre-K when she was 3 weeks old. It was all I could do just to get him to school at 11:00 and return to pick him up @ 2:20. What a joke!

    That’s my only excuse. That I was swamped with a brand new baby, a little boy starting pre-k, with Sam & Dakota in middle school with a bus stop time of 6:15 a.m. while trying to keep the house clean, cook and be a good wife.

    Okay, now that the excuse making is out of the way. I feel ashamed of myself. Here I am, a future teacher and I have barely spent time this summer teaching my own baby how to read. Well, I am indeed Marvin K. Mooney. He did not move until it was time. Guess what, it is time.

    The time had come, so Marvin went…

    Ties That Bind & Bind and Bind…!

    After early last Sunday morning, I feel like I can do anything. I’m talking about coaching my little sister through the birth of her baby. A couple of months ago we talked and she agreed that she didn’t want to have an epidural because of my bad experience with it. Even though we had that agreement, my little sister is as big a sissy as I am, so I knew that she would try to cave and have an epidural. I asked my mother if she could come get me downstairs if Danielle starting asking for one.

    I had to go downstairs because there were only two people allowed in the room with her at a time. At the time it was me, my mother, and her best friend in the room with her. So I went downstairs to finish my book by Max Elliot Anderson (more next week).

    She didn’t have bad labor; it was pretty mild. It progressed pretty quickly though. When we arrived at the hospital at 12:45 a.m., she was experiencing slight labor pain. The nurse checked her and determined that she had dilated 5 cm. That was @ 1:30 a.m. By the time I changed places with my mother at 3:30, she was crying like a big ole’ baby. She tried to get an epidural, but she was already fully dilated, so she couldn’t get it. I went in the room, calmed her down and helped her through the pain with Lamaze breathing. She said that she was glad that I was there. I was happy to be there for her.

    At about 3:30 a.m. they take her to the birthing room. At this hospital, permission from the doctor is required to have more than one person in there. Even though she got permission from her doctor ahead of time, her doctor wasn’t there, so we had to wait for the nurses to call her doctor. They weren’t able to get in contact with the doctor so finally the resident on call ok’d it. Continue reading

    Don’t Become A Verb! (Conjunction, Junction, What’s Your Function?)

    My husband is a very caring, compassionate and sympathetic listener. As a result, many people come to him with their problems. The problem is when those who he have lent a shoulder to to cry on don’t return the favor. At his old job there was this guy, Amir, who always had a sob story, even though he lived in a mansion in Chatsworth. One time, the guy even had the nerve to complain about the maid not cleaning his room the way he wanted her too. Serious- no joke.

    Anyway, he was always crying on my husband’s shoulder about some imagined ill or wrong done to him. Amir loved talking to my husband because he could always depend on him.

    The time came when my husband needed a shoulder to cry on so he went to the one who always cried on his-Amir. Continue reading


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