May 11th was my 12th Blogiversary. So, Happy Blogiversary to me!
I’m Back (I Mean, Really Back!)
Dear Readers,
I’m back. I honestly did not realize it’d been so long since I’d written on here. So, as a welcome back, I’m going to update you on my life. Like to hear it, here it goes:
Once this COVID lockdown/quarantine is over, I’m going back to teaching. I was actually interviewing before the lockdown. I’m sad that school will not resume until September. But once it does, I’ll be back to teaching. I really did miss it.
I’m divorcing and discovering a whole new side of myself. Somewhere along the line of raising children and being someone’s wife, I lost myself. Now, I am actively discovering myself. I’ll be posting about that. So, be on the lookout!
As I’ve written here before, writing is my outlet- my happy place. So, I’m going to be writing here more and in other outlets, as well.
I’m going to be posting book reviews of some cute little books I bought at this open air flea market that I frequent. The first book I will be reviewing is Ralph Tells A Story by Abby Hanlon.
Marshmallow by Clare Turlay Newberry
Dear Readers,
I’m going to review this wonderful little book. It’s a Caldecott award winning book, entitled Marshmallow by Clare Turlay. I’m so happy with this book. I found it in a thrift store for .10 cents. I didn’t know what it was, but there was no way I was going to pass up a book for .10 cents.
I got it with the intention of passing it on to one of my great nieces or nephews. I’m not sure. I still may. For now, though, I’m keeping it because I love it so.
Summary: Oliver is a tabby cat who is always the center of attention. Marshmallow is a baby rabbit who moves into Oliver’s home. At first Oliver does not welcome Marshmallow, but the little bunny’s charms are impossible to resist. This is the true story of how Oliver and Marshmallow become friends.
Lesson to be learned: Even if someone is not exactly the same as you, it doesn’t matter. Love is love and it can overcome all differences.
Recommendation: Yes, I highly recommend this book.
Self-Impression by C.Leila Cramer-Banks
Dear Readers,
Here’s a poem I wrote when I was at the height of my depression. So, I have to warn you that it’s pretty depressing.
Self-Impression
Ugly. Stupid. Unsuccessful. Chaotic. Loser. Nothing!
Original poetry by Carole Leila Cramer-Banks
I admit that this poem may not be for everyone. However, for those that will understand this, I’m truly sorry that you do. I really just wanted to get it out when I was feeling like this. I was hoping, that by writing it out, that the feelings would magically go away. They didn’t, but I am learning how to deal with them. I hope reading this doesn’t trigger any old or new feelings for you.
Let me know what you think, in the comments!
Anxiety & Depression!
Hello Dear Readers,
I was in a bad state last year. I was in a battle with anxiety and depression that I did not think that I could win. But, I did! Hello, Healthy Mind!
It was a struggle, but one strategy I used to combat anxiety and depression was positive self-talk. I’m usually pretty confident, but this battle had me questioning my confidence and competence. I started a new job that I just could not get the hang of.
I found this pic that explained why I was having so much trouble with
anxiety and depression and is one of the reasons that I tendered my
resignation.
I and my energy were spent. I had nothing to give. I was overwhelmed, burnt out, and tired. It was so many different areas of my life that were not going well. It was way too much to contend with.
There were no roots. However, now, I have roots growing again. With the help of my support system, I am on the mend and digging deep, once again.
I have started my publishing company. I’ll write more about it later. Just suffice it to say that I am healed and moving on to greater things. Here’s to self-publishing my own and other’s books!
Making New Moves!
Dear Readers,
I have made a bold move- I quit teaching. I’m not sure if I’m going to return. I promised myself that if I got to the point that I did not enjoy teaching, that I would quit. Well, I was no longer enjoying. Not only that, I began experiencing anxiety and depression again. I had no peace. It just wasn’t worth it to me anymore.
The only problem is that I looooooovvvvvveeee teaching, if I can actually just teach. I don’t want to deal with administration, I don’t want to deal with parents from hell, I don’t want to deal with students cursing me out… I mean, you get the picture.
As I was looking for the perfect pic to put into this post, I actually came across a teacher resignation template. If you’re also thinking about quitting, here’s a link to the Teacher Resignation Template.
Let me know your thoughts. Have you quit teaching or are you thinking about teaching? Stay tuned for my next article on reasons why I quit teaching and what I’m doing next!
Been So Long!
Hi, Dear Readers! It’s been awhile. I promise to write more often. I am doing all I can to conquer anxiety and depression. My number one outlet is writing; followed closely by walking. It’s a park near my house where my husband and I walk for at least an hour on the weekends. My school site is so big that I log at least 3,500-4,300 steps per day. So, I’ve been getting in exercise.
WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON WITH ME?
So, I’ve been battling depression and anxiety so hard. I’ve battled with both of them before. However, I’ve been battling both of them for the past couple months. I have to tell you that they very nearly took me out.
I’m not exaggerating when I say that I honestly did not think that I would make it this time. There were days when I didn’t make it out of my pajamas, didn’t brush my teeth, wash my face, or eat. I just sat in a stupor, staring at the wall, wondering why I was on this earth.
TIRED OF BEING TIRED!
But, I got tired of being tired, so I decided to use writing therapy. That’s one good thing that has come out of this battle. I got another book out of it. When I’ve shared them with friends and family, some have cried and written very heartfelt notes to me because I managed to capture the spirit of depression. When I first wrote some of the poems, they were hard to read because I was still experiencing the situation. Now, that I’m getting a firmer grip on the situation, it’s not as hard to go back and read the poems.
THERAPY
I’ve been using various strategies (as mentioned above) to help. My next step is therapy. Although therapy is sometimes seen as a bad thing among Black people, it is not! Basically, my mind is sick, so I’m taking it to the mind doctor to get it ‘looked at’!
FUTURE PLANS
So, I’m currently researching what I need to know so I can start my own publishing company and self-publish my own books.
CURRENT BOOKS
Last year was a busy year for me. I wrote a chapter in two award-winning teacher anthologies. The first one was, “The Whole Truth & Nothing But the Truth, So Help Me Teacher! Part I with Lead Author Vicki Kirk-Mays. The second one was The Mediocre Teacher Project with Lead Author Marquita Smith Blades.
UPCOMING BOOKS
My upcoming book is called The Ebb & Flow of Life: Stages of Walking in My Power. It’s a collection of poetry. The book is divided into three sections/chapters. The first section/chapter is called Bitter, Hurt, Angry, & Afraid. The second section/chapter is called Realizations. The third and final section/chapter is called Walking in My Power.
In the book, I take you through times when I was down and out to the times when I began to realize that I don’t have to stay down forever, to the times when I was beginning to awaken to my potential. During those times, you couldn’t tell me nothing.
It will be released by March 2019 at the latest. After that, I plan to finish the book that I wrote when I was really battling anxiety & depression.
MOVING FORWARD!
Moving forward, I will not shut down and stop writing on here, because writing is my lifeblood. I cannot go a day without writing or listening to music.
ON THAT NOTE!
On that note, here’s a little music by Anita Baker to carry you out of this post!
Been So Long by Anita Baker
