Don’t Become A Verb! (Conjunction, Junction, What’s Your Function?)

My husband is a very caring, compassionate and sympathetic listener. As a result, many people come to him with their problems. The problem is when those who he have lent a shoulder to to cry on don’t return the favor. At his old job there was this guy, Amir, who always had a sob story, even though he lived in a mansion in Chatsworth. One time, the guy even had the nerve to complain about the maid not cleaning his room the way he wanted her too. Serious- no joke.

Anyway, he was always crying on my husband’s shoulder about some imagined ill or wrong done to him. Amir loved talking to my husband because he could always depend on him.

The time came when my husband needed a shoulder to cry on so he went to the one who always cried on his-Amir. My husband is not the type to whine, bitch or moan, so it must have been something pretty bad to make him want to get something off of his chest. He went to Amir, thinking that he had found a sympathetic ear. Boy was he wrong. He went to Amir and got off about two sentences before Amir said,”D’oh, gotta go.”

I said you know what he did, he Amirred you.

“What?,”my husband said.

“He Amirred you.”

You are always there for him, yet the minute that you needed him, he bolted. He doesn’t know how to be a friend.

In my house, this term has come to be synonymous with leaving someone high and dry when they need you, when they have always been there for you. In our house, he is no longer a person, he is a verb-something to sung about on School House Rock. Conjunction, junction, what is his function?

I don’t know what it is, but it certainly wasn’t helping my husband that day. Don’t let this happen to you. Don’t give up your claim to simple human decency to become a verb.

Were you even listening? I hope that you haven’t Amirred anyone today. Well, have you?

Until next time people!

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