I am in such a sticky situation. My position for next year is so up in the air. That’s why we, most of the teachers in L.A.U.S.D., are going to be walking out. It’s only going to be for an hour. We will be picketing in front of the school and passing out leaflets to parents and passer-bys.
Because of this I will possibly not be returning to my students. Even though at times I was ready to walk out on them, I don’t want to leave them. I am so attached to them. As a class, we have been through so much. I remember my first day that I saw my class. I was asked to observe the class, for as long as I thought necessary, by the A.P. & Principal, and prepare a lesson accordingly.
I entered the class, and was taken aback. It was chaotic at best. However, I had a good feeling about it. I knew that, no matter what the situation looked like, I could turn it around. And I did!
Looking back now, I think that I was crazy to think that. What made me think I could do it? I don’t know, but I did.
I have been in a very reflective mood lately and I have been thinking about my class. I don’t want to leave them. As much as I want to throttle some of them, I feel like they are a part of my heart.
I bring all this up because, as I stated before I strayed, my position is in jeopardy. Since I am an intern, I may very well be replaced by a teacher with more experience. However, how will that “more experienced” teacher deal with my students. Will he/she be as patient with them as I am? Will they understand their disabilities and give them work to meet them at their level? Will they love them as much as I do? Will Lito get the atttention he needs? Will Robin get the attention he needs?
I guess I need to let it go because if it happens, it happens; there’s nothing I can do about it. But I am worried about them. I just want the best for them. I would really like to be there for them. But as I said, only time will tell.