A Take/Take Situation!


***Warning- This post is kinda’ long***

I have a problem. Someone reading may not think so because it seems like a cut and dry situation; but it is not because there are children involved.

Here’s the story: My house is the house on the block that mostly all the children come to. A couple of years ago when Sam & Dakota were young, we had a computer lab, a pool table and an air hockey table in our garage. So, kids from all over the neighborhood knew our house. It was fantastic- a house full of children. It was the perfect situation.First and foremost, I knew what kids my children were playing with. Secondly, I knew where my children were at all times- at home.

In the beginnig it was really fun. But, after a while, it begin to wear on me because some of the children were not well trained. I would have to keep telling then not to put their foot on this or don’t walk around my house eating, etc. It just became more than I wanted to deal with. Anyway, some left, some stayed.

Fast forward a couple of years to David & Phillise and the neighborhood kids coming over. It’s pretty much the same situation. The only thing is that I am always hosting, while the other parents do not. They don’t want to be bothered. They want their sleep.

That’s where the problem begins.What about me? What about when I don’t feel like being bothered? What about when I want to sleep?

When Sam & Dakota were younger, I was a housewife. I didn’t have an outside job. Taking care of them was my job. I didn’t have even have Phillise back then. So, I didn’t require a lot of sleep. Well, with all of the stuff I have on my plate now, I do! That’s why hosting all the time has become a problem. When I want a break from my children, I don’t have anywhere to send them.

I don’t want to act funny or anything, but I am tired of hosting all the time. I want someone else to. This situation no longer suits me. However, I know that the other parents are not going to change. That’s why sometimes I don’t even let the children in the house. I know that they’re going to be loud and rambunctious as children are. But when I don’t let them in I feel like a Scrooge. I feel like I’m taking it out on the children.

Don’t get me wrong. I am a very giving person. I love to help people. Sometimes I will help someone to my own detriment. I will help someone even when I know that they don’t have my best interest at heart. I thought that I was being the bigger person for being able to do that, but now I don’t.

I have had time to think and reflect and have decided that I feel like a doormat. I am beginning to look at thing from a different perspective. I need some give and take. At this point, it is all give/give on my side, and take/take from their side. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to feel like I’m punishing the kids, but I need sleep too. Help! What would you do?

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2 thoughts on “A Take/Take Situation!

  1. I understand how you feel. While I don’t have this problem with neighborhood children (we only have 5 on our street), I do with my family. I often babysit or host the kids in our family, yet when I need respite, no one is available.

    Case in point, yesterday I asked my sister if Jazmine could come over for a few hours while I went to the movies. Her answer was “I don’t know, I’ll have to think about it.” What is there to think about? I never have to “think about” keeping her three (2 quite unruly and annoying) kids. I ended up having to pay my aunt to keep my niece.

    I’m rambling as you can tell, but my solution is to stop providing services to those who don’t wan’t to reciprocate. It’s just not fair to me and I refuse to feel guilty because of it.

  2. You are right. I should not feel guilty for stopping myself from being used. It’s time for me to stop helping those who won’t help me.

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