For the past couple years, I have felt like an new, unlearned sailor who has not yet gotten his sea legs. He feels sick, new, and unsure of himself. This has been my feelings. This is unusual for me because I am usually a very confident person. I can go into almost any situation feeling like I can conquer it and make small work of it. However, that’s how things used to be; things are different now, and have been for the past 1½ years.
I don’t know if it was because I was at such a distinct disadvantage when I started school because I didn’t have a teaching position yet, or what. All I know is that my confidence has been sapped from me. I have my moments. That is the problem, because that’s all I have is moments. My confidence is not ever present like it used to be. However, that is now changing. The time of feeling like an incompetent idiot will soon be put behind me. Why? Because I feel it in the air. Life is cyclical. We, as human beings, go through cycles. Sometimes we’re up; sometimes we’re down. Just like the sea.
I have been on the downside of things for the past couple years. Now, it’s my turn to be on the upside of things. It’s my time to get my sea legs; to stop rising and falling (hard). I have been putting forth great effort, now it’s time to be rewarded. It’s time for me to be steady.