I Got It From My Mama! Part 2

Now that I’ve gone to counseling and opened the floodgates, I am starting to remember more and more things. One thing about my mother that always bothered me, is that she almost never took my word for anything over an adult. Maybe that’s why one of my sisters believes everything (I mean everything) her children say. My counselor told me that we all reacted differently to the way my mother left my father. I react the way my mother did. I take so much (too much), until I can’t take anymore. That’s when I take a “fight or flight” stance. I’m willing to fight tooth and nail to defend myself at that point. But first I remove myself from the situation- whether it’s mentally or physically. Once I’m removed, then I can focus on my problem.
That is where I’m at now. I have removed myself from my job because I am seeking to understand how to get the better of the situation instead of letting it get the better of me. I have to go. I’m off to my counseling session after this.
The journey continues!

My Fortune

I just got a fortune. Here’s what it said:
“A balance is needed between home and business.”
It is always so amazing to me when a fortune is spot-on. This fortune is 100% correct. Although I don’t know how long I’m going to be on stress leave, trying to have a balance between home and work was definitely a problem.
The whole reason, in a nutshell, that I didn’t have balance is because I was split in too many directions with almost all of my attention focused on work and school. Although I was trying, I was unable to achieve the balance that I needed. That’s why I’m having problems now. I’m putting a plan into action to remedy that though. I do not ever want to be in this position again.

My Meeting!

During the past couple days, I have been going through Hell. I have been threatened, to the point where I felt my life was in danger. I have been able to get no help from UTLA. My university has completely ignored me. I have not felt this alone or abandoned as I have this past week.
I called my union rep at my work site and she got the ball rolling. I told her how UTLA was no help. She was as shocked as I was. True to her word, she arranged a meeting with the Principal. However, after going to my counseling session, I was an emotional wreck. I was advised not to go. I didn’t go, but had to call in.
Since my union rep at my work site got involved, the school police was called in. I spoke with the Principal then the Officer, who told me that they found no evidence of the gun the student threatened to shoot me with, so it was safe to go back to work. He also told me that the mom wanted to apologize for all the confusion.
Are? You? Kidding? Me?
I don’t trust her. She is psychotic. Of course she’s going to tell the police what they want to hear, but I’m the one who’s a sitting duck after work. The officer asked me if I felt safe in the classroom. I told him that it wasn’t the classroom, it was when I leave the classroom. What about when I working late.
“Are you going to be waiting for me outside?” I asked.
“No, ma’am, that’s not possible, he said. We don’t have the resources for that.”
“Well, how then am I supposed to feel safe?” I asked.
No answer.
“Tell me, how am I supposed to take your word for it that I’m safe when you can’t guarantee my protection. You can tell me what you want, but that doesn’t ease my mind one little bit.” I nearly screamed as I sobbed.
It was at this point that the Principal said that she could not allow me to come back. I had to speak to others to plead my case that I shouldn’t have to take an unpaid leave of absence since none of this was my fault.
I will appreciate the time off to get myself together, but how many teachers will this happen to before something is done? How many other teachers has this happened to? Our system is effed up. If I were a horrible teacher who wasn’t doing my job, I bet the Union would step in and help me then. After all, isn’t that what they do? Help the bad teachers keep their jobs.

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