I’ve stopped writing because I just don’t have it in me to write and try to be optimistic when I am NOT. I am seriously rethinking if I want to proceed in my chosen occupation. The reason I say this is because I’m having a hard time yet again. In fact, I’ve had a hard time since I began teaching. So, I have to wonder if teaching is really for me???
I know that is something that only I can answer for myself, but I am seriously leaning towards NO!
I just want to SCREAM!!!!
Why am I having such a hard time when all I want to do is teach? All I want to do is change lives for the better. Yet, I keep encountering the same problems time and time again. I’m so tired.
I was trying to let at my problems objectively and say that this was something that I need to learn. But, I can’t see anything. I’m out of answers and questions and faith. I don’t have anything left to give. I’m so tired and discouraged. I feel like it’s 2009 all over again where my boss is going to sully my name when all I am trying to do is be left alone to do my job. If I could lay down and die, I would. However, obviously it’s not my time to go. If I could have wished myself dead, I’d have been dead a long time ago. So, I guess I will just have to keep on living until I die.
So, there you have it Dear Readers. The story of my really pitiful, trouble filled life!