I don’t even know what to title this post because I don’t know what to think, how to feel, nothing! Lately it seems that nothing I do comes out right. I have been trying to be selfless & correct terrible mistakes from my past, but nothing is working. If I try to correct something, the opposite happens. It’s so funny because when I was selfish and pushing everyone away, it seemed to work for me. However, once I knew that I needed to change and set about to do it, the opposite of my desired result is happening. I don’t know what to do. I really don’t. I am in so much pain that I don’t know what to do about anything. When am I going to feel like I am on sure footing and stop feeling inadequate????
Life is so funny. You think you have it figured out (not really), then something comes along and just throws you for a loop! That’s where I am right now. I wish I could just fast forward through what I’m going through, but alas, life doesn’t work like that. I’m in a tremendous amount of pain, but I know that this too shall pass.
Right now, I feel as if a rug has been snatched from under me and no matter what I do I simply cannot regain my footing. I thought I was doing the right thing for me, but as it turns out, I wasn’t. Hindsight is 20/20, but there’s nothing I can do. At least, I don’t know what to do. I’m so confused right now. Nothing makes sense. But, I will get through this. So, bye for now!
Oh, yeah!!! School has started. That means 3 out of 4 of my children are in school. My oldest son is wandering. I’m going to go talk to him about his plans. I understand trying to find yourself, but you have to “find” yourself on your own dime. Sorry if anyone thinks that’s harsh, but he will be 24 years old in October. So, either he needs to go to the service, get a job, or go to school.
That’s that & I’ll deal with it accordingly. I am writing because I am so happy the summer is over. It was one of the toughest summers of my life. I hope to never have a hard summer like this past one. However, I digress. I made it and that’s what’s important.
So, I’ll be writing more now that I am not so preoccupied. Here’s to more posts!
Bye for now!!!