Just in case you haven’t read Then I Didn’t, Part 1, go ahead and catch up on it. Ok! Go! I’ll wait……….
Well, now that you’ve read that, you can probably see where this post is going. I woke up about two weeks and had simply “lost”my extreme introverted-ness and my distaste for being around people who sap all of my energy. Not sure where it went (smile!), but I don’t seem to have it anymore. I now want to connect with people on a larger scale like I never have before. I can’t explain it. “Losing” the introverted-ness, wanting to disconnect from people, and my lack of desire to be around people just seemed to have vanished.
This is a big change for me and it scares me. I usually feel this way after the pain from the migraine subsides once the medicine kicks in. If you’ve ever had a migraine, then you know how intense & painful they can be. Let me tell you that migraines are no joke; they’re quite painful! That’s why I’m always in fear of it coming back. Fear is a companion of mine that I have to dump sometimes when I’m scared. It’s one of the emotions I experience after I’ve made a major change. I usually fear”it” returning (Whatever “it” happens to be). Well, this is no different.”It” has only been gone for a couple of weeks. That’s why I’m afraid “it” is going to come back. Being the way I was was truly painful to me at times and I
don’t want am not going to be that way anymore.
Everything started falling into place, or rather the process of losing my extreme dislike of being around a lot of people, happened after a conversation I had with my good friend, Danika. I don’t remember her exact words but they were life changing. She told me that she likes the way I interact with people and how I compliment them. What’s so funny is that I simply saw it as being me. Guess what? It was me just being me. I love that being me is such a good thing that being my natural self is enough. It changed the way I look at myself. I was looking at myself in a somewhat negative light. After speaking with Danika, that changed. After thinking about it, I see now that I’ve always been who I am. Somehow I just forgot that.
The true test will be when I return to work. I really hope “it” doesn’t come back. I’ve always thought that I was too introverted to talk with people for too long or that I could only maintain contact with people without being drained for a certain length of time. Well, those were limits that I imposed on myself. As I think back on my life, I think about how far I’ve come, in relation to my interactions with people. I thought that I didn’t really interact well with people, but I was wrong. I was outgoing until I started pushing people away. However, that’s a post for another day. Until next time!