Faster or Slower???

Dear Readers,

I’m torn on what to do with my students. For some of my students, this is my third year having them. The problem is that I’ve coddled them for most of the time that I’ve had them. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’ve started the process of weaning them off of me to steer them towards independence. The only problem is that I feel that I’m pushing them too hard. I’m torn on whether or not I’m pushing them too fast. Should I go at the rate I’ve been going (faster) or should I go at the same pace as I went last year???


Part of my indecision stems from the fact that I’ve always wanted the Resource Lab to be different. I wanted it to be a safe haven- a place where they could feel safe, loved, and fully valued. What I did not intend for it to be was a place for them to give over responsibility for their education to me!

Well, sad to say that that’s where they were last year. So, I decided to change the way I ran the Lab. One of those changes was not giving them as much time to complete their work or telling them that it was okay for them not to do my work in the Resource Lab so they can do their work in their other classes. At the end of the school year I let them know that the Home Office decided that the Resource Lab was to be restructured and that it would no longer be a ‘Homework Lab’. Well, some of them didn’t take kindly to that. There was moaning & groaning, weeping & gnashing of teeth. Ok, that’s a line from the Bible. That didn’t really happen, but they didn’t groan a little. In the end, they accepted the way the new Lab is. They’ve even been getting work completed even without the extra time.

So, I guess I have my answer! I’ll keep you updated!

Limitation Setting ME!

Dear Readers,

I’m on such a self-improvement tear. Usually after school is out for the summer, I have a chance to absorb & process all of the information I didn’t have time to during the year. I relate it to The Quickening (Click here, here, here, here, & here).

Self-Improvement Project

I’ve recently started studying Anthony Robbins’ philosophy. I really vibe with the ones where he talks about limiting beliefs we place on ourselves. After listening to him, I can see that I’ve set limits on myself because I didn’t think I deserved more.

Since school ended I’ve been in such an introspective mood. I’ve been in such a positive sense of expectancy. I’m happy that this sense of expectancy has returned because I stopped having a positive sense of expectancy after experiencing hard times in life. I can remember having great expectations when I was younger. I would be in such a state because I knew that something good was going to happen. I just didn’t know what. Well, somewhere along the way I stopped being in a state of expectancy and I started being or having a sense of dread because that’s all that seemed to be happening in my life. Instead of continuing with being ME & being in a state of positive expectancy, I sidetracked myself & changed my life and my positive sense of self expectancy for the worse.

However, after listening to Anthony Robbins lately, I’m discovering how to get back to where I came from when I stayed in a state of positive expectancy.

Here are 10 empowering beliefs that will change your life:

  1. The past does not equal the future.
  2. There is always a way if I’m committed.
  3. There are no failures, only outcomes- as long as I learn something, I’m succeeding.
  4. If I can’t, I must. If I must, I can. *
  5. Everything happens for a reason and a purpose that serves me.
  6. I find great joy in little things…a smile… a flower… a sunset
  7. I give more of myself to others than anyone expects.
  8. I create my own reality and I am responsible for what I create.
  9. If I’m confused, I’m about to learn something.
  10. Everyday above ground is a great day.

I’m going to spend the next year meditating on this! Bye for now!


Dear SELF,


The stuff you text to yourself @ 3:00 in the morning may very well be unreadable the next day. Apparently, “Quibble, wibble, wobble” is not a real thing!

Here’s the story behind this text. I’ve been having a hard time at work lately and hadn’t been laughing much. Well, that sure changed this afternoon at lunch when I finally settled down to read my “brilliant” texts that I texted myself at 3 a.m.

Let me just begin by saying that I use this particular tactic of sleeping on my problems and letting my subconscious work it out. It usually works for me. However this time, it did not. I was out of my mind to the point where I was texting myself complete and utter gibberish.

Here are some of my gems that I texted myself:

  • A relationship should be better than a sale!
  • Sporadic moments where the price/value of the relationship is lowered.
  • Shoe on the other foot.
  • 8 Principles
  • Ali Baba & the 40 Thieves
  • & of course Quibble, wibble, wobble!

I know that in some faraway or parallel universe, this means something!

Piggy & The Emergency Packet!

Dear Readers,

I have a student that I call Piggy because she loves to eat. Don’t worry, she’s not offended; she actually thinks it’s cute. She is the cutest thing. I’m writing this post about her because how cute she is. All of her life she’s relied on how pretty she is. I sat down and talked to her one day and asked her if she ever thought that she could do “it!” I asked her if she was going to rely on her looks forever.

“Trust me when I say that looks fade, we gain weight, etc., etc.,” I told her.

She looked absolutely horrified when I told her that I wasn’t always a size 12. I took the time to tell her that she doesn’t have to rely only on her looks; that she could do “it.”

“You think I can?,” she asked.

“Yes, Piggy! I know you can!”

During my weekly grade check I told her that I wanted her to actually try in Biology & Math class. She agreed that she would. I told her that I was going to stay on her to make sure she did. She smiled and thanked me.

Well, I had to tell you the story of Piggy to finally get around to the Emergency Packets I made for my students.


Obviously that’s not my hand in the picture, but I digress. This is what was in the packets I made them. It took me a couple of days to assemble the packets, so I didn’t want the students to waste them. I told them to take out the chocolate Kiss if they didn’t want it and return the bag of items to me because others wanted them.

When I got to Piggy, I asked her if she wanted the packet. To my surprise she said that she did. After she ate the Kiss, she read the note and thanked me. This shocked me because at the beginning of the year she would have simply thrown the bag away without a second thought. It said a lot that she actually cared and is starting to believe in herself.

This warmed my heart so much. I really enjoy making a difference in their lives!

Almost Totally Paperless!

Dear Readers,

I have a problem. Not a big problem but a problem nonetheless. It’s a small problem, actually a good one. You see, I’m almost totally paperless in my classroom. So, when the 9th grade chapter chair requested work to put on the board, I didn’t have any.

When I first decided to become paperless I didn’t think about this ‘problem’. I was just thinking about how inconvenient making copies was. I didn’t think about not having anything on hand to put on the board.

I printed out one of their power point presentation in color and put them on the board. Problem solved!

Go Ahead, Call My Boss!

Dear Readers,

Bad teacher:parentThe title was too long to finish writing how I feel, so I’ll write it here. “Go ahead, call my boss. I have nothing to hide,” is what I thought as I gave this mom my number to call the head of the SpEd department. She’s one of those “shoot first and ask questions later” kind of people.

There’s such a big backstory on her and the situation I’m currently experiencing. My first meeting with her started off friendly enough. However, my thoughts about her changed once I saw how she attacked the 9th grade English teacher over her son’s grades which he earned. Little did I know that I would be the next one.

During our meeting, she was cordial enough. She then took me totally by surprise when, out of the blue, she began launching accusatory questions at me about a “C” grade. Even when I showed her his grades, she was still not satisfied. It was at this point that she stomped out of the room and apparently went straight to the Assistant Principal’s office. She told the AP that I attacked her, was unfriendly, and that she didn’t want to deal with me. I could tell by the AP’s voice and intonation that she believed the parent. I was insulted for a hot second until I realized that I didn’t care. I went to speak to the AP in charge of SpEd and let him know her M.O. He let me know that he had my back and that he would defuse the situation if it came down to it. I thanked him and went on my merry little way.

Did it end there? Of course it didn’t. That would have been too easy. The REAL problem began when the 311 report was run and the SpEd Director noticed that two students were assigned behavior intervention services. Wouldn’t you know that he was one of them? I sent home notices that she would not return. I called her and she would not answer. I even tried to schedule meetings with her that she would agree to and not show up. She began insisting that he receive the services even though she didn’t even know what they were. She began to try to bombard me with e-mails. That’s when I promptly told her that she could speak with my boss or one of the SpEd coaches if she would feel more at ease. I gave her both their numbers and wished her well. You know what, she never even gave them a call. In fact, she hasn’t even shown up for any parent conferences since then. It was not a surprise to me. I knew that she was one of the those people who try to bulldoze their way through to get their way when they know that simply asking will work. Those types of people puzzle me. I just don’t understand it. Has she never heard, “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”

I have not had to deal with her since then but his IEP is coming up in May. I’ll keep you updated on that. Bye for now!

The Little Engine That Could!

Dear Readers,

little-engine 2I am pleasantly surprised with my students! I’m seeing leaders emerge with strengths they, or I, in some cases, didn’t even know they had. What am I talking about? I’m talking about my students coming alive and developing their life skills.

One of the activities I introduced to them when we came back from break was jigsawing. In one of my last post I stated how I put the onus on my students for asking for extra time and getting their missed work from when they were absent. I know they are only in the 9th & 10th grade but within the next 3-4 years they will be young adults in charge of their own lives. So, they need to have certain skills. Two skills they really need and that are very important to have are self-advocacy & self-reliance. They are beginning to do well with self-advocacy skills, so now I’m training them in self-reliance. Many times during the last semester, the work would be right in front of them but they would not take to time to try to uncover it. I thought and thought about how to help the overcome their learned helplessness but it was tough. Let me tell you that learned helplessness runs deep. They were so used to believing they couldn’t do it that they stopped trying.

Well, by lecturing them, supporting them, and helping them realize that they can do it, they have begun to advocate for themselves and to rely on themselves. It’s one of the best feeling in the world to see that light bulb go on and have someone realize they can do it. I always think of The Little Engine That Could when this happens. I should read it to them. They’re so young they probably haven’t heard of it. I’ll see. Back to the lecture at hand. I’m happy to see them blossoming. I’ll keep you updated.

Techy Me! or Challenge Accepted!

Dear Readers,

I work at a Blended Learning School.barney-stinson-challenge-accepted It’s a format that combines technology with traditional learning. When I took the job I was so out of my league. However I issued myself a challenge to get into that league. CHALLENGE: Learn and incorporate as much technology into the classroom as possible within the next couple of months. At the time I was hired, I hadn’t used much technology in the classroom except my classroom blog and iFilm.

However, I knew at this school I had to step up my game. So, I did! I accepted the challenge. Not only that, I saw the challenge and upped the ante a bit.

Usually, I can’t see my progress as it’s happening. However, in an earlier post, I briefly wrote about my Quickening process (click here). I also wrote about some of the programs I was using (click here). If I can think of anything else, I’ll post it. For now, here are the programs I’ve learned.

  • Kahoot! online quiz program that automatically compiles correct & incorrect answers for me,
  • Edmodo to post my power points, make quizzes, and display instructions,
  • Haiku, used by our SpEd. department,
  • Pinnacle to take roll & track grades,
  • Class Dojo for behavior management,
  • my school website to upload digital agendas,
  • my other school website to download important documents & answer PD surveys,
  • Google docs,
  • Google sheets,
  • Google forms,
  • Google slides
  • Online stopwatch for tracking time,
  • Weebly website to post links and work from core classes.

Not sure, but I think that’s all. One last thing I’m very proud of is how I’m using Google sheets to make my exit slips for the month. I was using Google forms to send them daily, but discovered it was quickly filling up my Google drive and causing too much work for me. I knew I needed to find an easier and more efficient way to get the job done. I played around with Google sheets and figured out how to do it. Happy to say that I’m no longer creating daily exit slips; I’m now creating them monthly. If you’d like to know how, shoot me an email @



My Threshold!

Dear Readers,

I discovered something about myself last night. It was always my belief that I could take a nap later in the day in order to last long into the night. Well, I discovered that I was wrong. Even though I took a long nap and woke up at 7:30 p.m., I still tapped out about 10:30. I thought I could write and complete other work, but realized that I’d reached my threshold. I was beginning to do Midnight thinking. That’s when I realized that I needed to throw in the towel.

-Signed, No Longer in Denial!


***WATCH THE VIDEO from 19:17-19:37- This is what my writing is like when I’ve reached my threshold.***



Nerdy Me!

Dear Readers,

I feel like such a nerd!

“Why?,” you ask.

Well, I’ve just recently learned Google docs, Edmodo, Kahoot!, and a host of other online & tech programs I was previously UNable to use. Well, I spent the better part of Saturday morning organizing my Google docs, making folders for them and being happy doing so.

One of my favorite things to do is have my students share their work with me via Google docs. On Friday I was actually editing my student’s work as he was working on it across the room. One thing I like about Google docs, forms, & sheets is how it’s real time. One other thing I’m really enthused about is Google forms. Over the Veteran’s Day four day weekend, I took that time to create my monthly self-assessments for the rest of the year with Google forms. I couldn’t believe how easy it was. Since my decision to go paperless, I’ve been so gung-ho about all things tech, and I am loving it!

Dear Readers, what are you doing to incorporate technology into your classroom? Drop me a line and let me know!

Detox Time!

Dear Readers,

I’ve been so overly busy the past couple of weeks that I have not had time to detox. One of the main reasons is that my classroom is never empty. I have the class for 1st & 2nd period; the 11th/12th grade Resource Teacher has it 3rd & 4th, and the Spanish teacher has it 5th & 6th. Not to mention that the Spanish teacher tutors on Mondays & Tuesdays. On Wednesdays, we have PDs; on Thursdays, I have tutoring; Fridays are free, but who wants to stay on Friday, right? Couple all of this with the many demands of my church and you have a very burnt out me.


Because of all this, I’ve bee feeling like I could star in one of the  Snickers commercial because I wasn’t myself. I could not center myself, so I stole some time today. There’s a storage closet on the 2nd floor that no one’s using W-F. This will be my go-to spot when it’s not in use because I am so refreshed. I took lunch + my prep period = 2.5 hours. When I tell you that I emerged sooooo refreshed from the storage closet, I mean it. I was able to think clearly. Now I can think of solutions to problems I’ve been having. So, let me get to it. Bye for now!

The Jacket!

Dear Readers,
I purchased this lovely Trina Turk cropped blazer. I got it at a beyond wonderful price. Why am I upset then? Well, it seems I put on a bit of weight and I can’t fit it. Who can fit it? My baby girl, who @ 12 years old is 5’6 and towers over me. Since she is shaped like her dad’s side of the family she’s nice and slender.
She is very supportive of me and challenged me to lose the weight to get into the jacket by October. If I don’t slim down by then enough to button it, then she gets to keep it. Guess I need to get on the ball!
In order to keep myself honest, I will post some before pics. I will also post pics in October. Here’s to getting into that Trina Turk jacket! Bye for now.

Coaster & the Gigglers!

As I was walking out of the Main Office at lunch time, I saw Coaster outside brooding.

“What’s wrong,” I asked.

He said, “The girls are doing something terrible!”

Knowing Coaster and his propensity for exaggerating and brooding on the most minute of offenses, I asked what the girls were doing.

“Well, they are laughing and talking really loud. Mrs. L. had to send me down to the office to concentrate!”

I kinda’ giggled at that myself. I’m not a monster; let me explain. It was kinda’ a ha ha! funny laugh at the fact that I’m a victim of my own success. I worked with him on expressing himself. Now, there’s no stopping him. He does it all the time. I’m not complaining though. I’d much rather have this version of him than the one from a couple of years ago when he didn’t interact with other students.

I’m happy that he felt comfortable enough to talk to me. On a side note, another person he feels comfortable talking to is the new Principal. As I walked down the hall before the bell rang, I saw him sitting in the his office “expressing himself. ”

So, all in all, I guess it was a good day. I’m happy that he’s expressing himself. I’m going to get on those girls when I return to my class after Christmas break. I know they’re just being girls, but they talk a looooooooooooottttttttt!!!

I’m tired. It has been a long couple of weeks. I have so much to write about. I’ll, more than likely, do it on the weekend. Bye for now!

What I Cannot Change!!!

I was listening to the radio this morning and was pleasantly surprised to hear LeAnn Rimes-Cibrian. She is one of my favorite singers. Her voice is super fantastic. I listened to her explaining her story regarding her and her husband, how she was sorry about how things happened with their other spouses. She seemed truly sorry. She even wrote a song about it called What I Cannot Change. It’s really beautiful. It made me think about my life. How I wish it would have gone the way that I’d planned it. Who doesn’t, right?

I have been feeling sorry for myself a lot lately. This song, however, has made me realize that I need to accept what I cannot change. Take a listen to this song. It’s very beautiful!

The Meaning of Life…


Does anyone remember the show Step by Step? There was this really air-headed character by the name of Cody. Cody & the other characters on the show had a contest to see who could stay up the longest? Well, the longer they were woke, the smarter and less air-headed Cody became. He was just about to discover the meaning of life when he passed out from delirium and lack of sleep.

Well, my experience is the exact opposite. When I am not getting enough sleep, I get delirious, but not smarter. In fact, I do what I call Midnight Thinking. It’s the time when you think you are putting out brilliant thought after thought, when, in fact, you are actually kickin’ kaknowledge.

So, I said/wrote all that to say that I have been having mind-blowing revelations lately. With a little downtime, I’ve been able to clear my mind & come up with some badly needed answers in my personal & professional life.

I was also thinking about how this blog never fully recovered after I posted about losing faith a couple of years ago when I was having such a hard, hard time in my life. I was expressing my disillusionment & loss of faith. I was having trouble with the saying, “God never puts more on you than you can bare!” I took issue with that because I felt like I did have more on me than I could bare. I simply shut down. I haven’t fully recovered, partially because nothing has really changed. But, since this blog cannot take another hit like I did a couple of years ago, I will simply keep it to myself.

I was also thinking about attraction between two people. What makes one person believe they have to have that one special person?

I was also thinking about my plans for next year. This, as per the last couple of years, has been a hard year for me, both personally & professionally. I can only hope that the next school year will be better.

I have so many, many thoughts in my head that need to come out. However, I can’t seem to organize them. When I can’t, I get a post like this. I’ll try to keep it together.

The Day I Saw My Mother-in-Law’s vagina!

worst-weekAh, the day I saw my mother-in-law’s vagina. What a catchy title? You just have to read this post now, don’t you? Trust me, this post is not going to be what you thought it was going to be about. This post is about a couple of things. Like to hear them, here they are:

  1. Why I don’t play classical music anymore.
  2. Why does, “Aha, aha…,” mean?
  3. Why I don’t share my blog address with many people.
  4. How I came up with the title, “The Day I Saw My Mother-in-Law’s Vagina”

I know, with a title like that, I have a lot of explaining to do, so here goes: When I first started at my site last year, I used to play classical music to calm the students down. However, one time the Principal came into my room and instructed me to turn it off. She said that it was too distracting. So, I had to stop. Even though it was working, I had to stop. That’s why I stopped playing classical music in my classroom.

Now, that leads me to my second point of “Aha!…Aha!…” In the movie Princess Bride, Billy Crystal’s character would make these silly little points that had absolutely no point. Once someone would question him about the meaningless “points”, he would hold up his finger and respond, “Aha!…Aha!…” The questioner would be left with a blank look wondering why in the world he thought he’d proven a point when he absolutely did not. That wraps up my second point and brings me to my third point of why I don’t share my blog address with many people at my work site.

Well, the main reason that I don’t share my blog address with many at my work site is because a couple of them are scared of Special Education. They remember how the students used to be before I came. Some of them still choose to see them like that even though they’re not like that anymore. They just have a hard time changing their way of thinking about special ed. Everything was fine until Nu. Now, this lends credence to what people were saying, “See! I told you how those Special Ed kids are!”

Well, the problem is that recently I decided to share my blog address with a couple of teachers @ school. So, right now, I’m not sure who’s reading this. But, since I don’t work at that job site anymore, it’s not all that important. Let’s move on!

Lastly, to wrap this up, I used to watch this great (recently cancelled) show, “Worst Week”? Well, what does this show, seeing my mother-in-law’s vagina, not playing classical music anymore, why I don’t share my blog address with a lot of people, and “Aha, aha…,” have to do with anything? Okay, well, just wait a little bit longer and I’ll bring it back around.

On the show, “Worst Week,” the main character, Brian, who’s a writer, is always doing stupidly destructive things. All kinds of crazy, out-of-the-ordinary kinds of things happen to him. He’s like an accident magnet- accidents are so drawn to him.

Well, Brian tells the story of how, in a quirky twist of fate, he saw his mother-in-law’s vagina. In the show, Brian and his fiancée are making an appointment to see the gynecologist because, unbeknownst to the family, his fiancée, Mel, is pregnant. What they don’t know is that his M-I-L is also going to the gynecologist. But she’s old school so she doesn’t talk about stuff like that.

When it’s Sam & Mel’s turn to go in, he’s busy doing something else, so he doesn’t go in with her. Now he doesn’t know which room she’s in. In order to find out which room she’s in, he gives the nurse the last name and the nurse tells him the room number. Or so he thinks!

Anyway, to shorten the story and keep it moving, suffice it to say that Sam ends up seeing his M-I-L’s vagina. He tells the guys about it and it somehow makes its way back to the boss who tells him to write about it. He does and as usual, some mishap occurs. His M-I-L ends up with the story. He wanted to write it to get it out, but didn’t want to publish it. That’s what predicament I find myself in.
I have this fantastic story to tell but I can’t tell it. So, learning from Brian’s mistake I won’t even publish that story. I will simply be content and settle for telling it to my husband, my sister and Traci.

It’s funny how somethings can be seemingly unrelated, yet they conspire to bring about a revelation that most people (those who aren’t odd & quirky like me) wouldn’t connect. I know. It took a long time to bring it around, but it was kinda’ funny. What I’m basically trying to say is that I have this really funny story to tell that I cannot tell for various reasons.

On a final note, I could totally have written for Seinfeld. I’m just saying!

Getting Ready For My Party!

I am getting ready for my big Valentine’s Day/Anniversary party tomorrow. I rented the tables earlier. They will be delivered shortly. I have this little theme going on- my colors are red, black, or pink. So, there will be one red table, one pink table, and one black table, with the chairs and the chair covers with bows. To complement the tables, I got a dozen balloons- 4 red, 4 pink, and 4 black. I am so excited. I am decorating the house right now. I have red and pink bulbs that I am going to hang from the ceiling in my dining room, as well as various heart decorations.

I purchased decorated take-out containers from Michael’s that I’ve filled with various chocolates for the chocoholics. I have chocolate covered fortune cookies, love coupons, and love lotto lottery tickets.
I also purchased some candy in a cute little bottle labeled Love Potion that I will include with the various naughty gifts I’ve bought. I am so looking forward to tomorrow. I’ll post pictures on Sunday. Bye!

Next Thanksgiving…

I have a little something to get off my chest. This happens every Thanksgiving, but it really bothered me the other day. Like to hear it, here it goes

One of my sisters likes to play games. I don’t know why she does, but she does. She is always trying to get out of bringing the Mac n’ Cheese.
“Oh,” she says, “I didn’t know you wanted me to bring it this year.”
(I’m thinking to myself) Well, haven’t you been bringing it for the past couple years? Isn’t that your specialty? Why do we have to go through this bullsh** every year? Why can’t you just bring the g**damn Mac n’ Cheese? Quit playing games!!!!!!!!!!!
Now ask me if she brought it this year. Well, ask. Nope, she didn’t. The other day I asked her could she bring the greens also. “Okay,” she said. So, when she finally decided to show up, I asked her where the Mac n’ Cheese was, she said…
“Oh, I thought you said you only wanted me to bring the greens”. If steam could really come out of my ears, it would have. So, I have just decided that I am going to learn how to make the Mac n’ Cheese my damn self. I am tired of the games. My family is so big, that it’s potluck. If you’re coming, you’re bringing something. I cannot afford to feed more than 30 people even if it’s for one day. I’ve gotten my recipes (Bobby Flay, Delilah the Mac n’ cheese queen, & Patti LaBelle) and am going to practice. That way I will not be dependent on anyone else for anything. I had my mouth all set for some Mac n’ Cheese. OOOOOO, she made me so mad!!! That, my dear sir or madam is my rant for the rest of the year!!!!!!!

Guess How Smart I Am?

Well, guess!!!

I am so smart that I turned in a paper meant for my second class into my first class. Yep, sure did! I cannot believe I did that. That’s goofy even for me. I had the biggest laugh.The killer part is that I got a 90% on the paper. The only reason that I didn’t get a higher grade is because I didn’t make a connection between the paper and that week’s reading. So guess what I will be doing tomorrow?

Burn After Watching!!!

***This is a review of Burn After Reading***

I just returned from seeing “Burn After Reading” and was sorely disappointed. I thought that surely it was going to be a good movie since there was such a stellar cast. However, I was wrong. I can’t believe that I was left with such a feeling of disgust after seeing it.

The movie basically boiled down to a social commentary on plastic surgery; how we, as a people, will do anything to look good. I was very disappointed. With such a great cast (Pitt, Malkovich, Swinton, etc..), one would think that would make for a great movie. But sadly, it wasn’t so. I give the movie an F-.

Just my thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Boy, What A Long Day!

Have you ever answered the phone and wished that you wouldn’t have? Well, yesterday I had one of those phone calls. It’s a long story, so let me just begin now. Yesterday was a long day. Wednesdays always are. That’s the day I go straight from work to school until 9:45.

I’d had a good day at work and a great day at school. But, because it was such a long day, I was still tired when I got home. Usually when I come home, I get right into bed. Last night, for some reason, I just could not unwind and go to sleep no matter how much I tried. So, I just lay in the bed and tried to relax. I look at the clock and notice that it’s about 11:15. Suddenly my phone rings. An unknown number flashes on my cell phone screen.

I figure if someone is calling at 11:15 p.m. either it’s someone who needs my help or a wrong number. So I take a chance and answer it. Big mistake. Big, big mistake. Who should it be but my perpetually-in-need cousin, Shawn. She tells me that she needs a ride to the hospital because her daughter has had an asthma attack. Okay, I sound mean here, but it’s not like that. It was after 11 p.m., I’d been on my feet all day, and had been in school for over five hours. It’s not like I didn’t care. I was just tired. Not to mention that on top of that I still had to get up for work.

I grudgingly took her even though I didn’t want to. I’m almost to the hospital when I notice that my van is pulling to the right. I need a wheel alignment, but I know that something else is wrong, so I start positioning myself to get off the freeway. As I was doing that, I hear a pop. Yep, you guessed it, a flat tire. Thank God I was near an exit and there was light traffic or I don’t know what would have happened.

By the time I get off the freeway, I am rolling on nothing but rim. I immediately pull over, stop the car, and inspect the damage. The tire is shredded. The only thing that I’m thinking is how grateful I am that I wasn’t my usual leadfoot self, and that I was near an exit.

I am so glad that I had my oldest son Sam with me. He changed the tire as I thought about what could have happened. So many things ran through my head. I had to shut them off and just think about how blessed I was that nothing did happen.

With negative thoughts out of my head and sleep on my mind, I sleepily dropped of my cousin and her daughter and headed home. By the time my head hit the pillow it was 1:45 a.m.

Boy, what a long day!

I Nailed It!!!

I had a presentation yesterday in my second class @ B.N.U. I nailed it. My assignment was to analyze the California Department of Education website. I had to summarize the website, detail any relevant websites,  and lastly give my opinion of it.

I perused the website for hours, got the necessary information and took it from there. From the information that I gathered, I was able to do a 20-minute presentation without looking at my notes. I didn’t do it by myself though, I had two partners. One made the Powerpoint, the other one made a really nice, double-sided, tri-fold handout.

My professor thought the presentation was very thorough. I also got compliments from others in the class. I did a pretty good job. Another way that I know the presentation was good is because I overheard someone in my class say that we couldn’t have possibly organized that presentation in two weeks. I was pretty happy with it.

In the immortal words of Hannibal from the A-Team, I love it when a plan comes together.

Results Of My Personality Perception Image Test

NBPC – The Daydreamer

Nature, Background, Big Picture, and Color

NBPC - The Daydreamer

You perceive the world with particular attention to nature. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the colors around you. Because of the value you place on nature, you tend to find comfort in more subdued settings and find energy in solitude. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You are a down-to-earth person who enjoys going with the flow.

If you’d like to take yours, go to:

What Language Do You speak? or (Can You Spare A Square?)

** WARNING- This post is kinda’ long**

Let me begin by saying that because of budget cuts, the district will no longer be paying for hotels for teachers’ training. Nor will they be providing lunch. They provide a continental breakfast (fruit, coffee, juice, croissants, and muffins) to get you there. After that, you are on your own. I know that we’re adults and we shouldn’t expect to be fed breakfast and lunch, but we have gotten accustomed to the star treatment. Now, it’s taken away? That’s why most of the teachers in the training were so uncomfortable. We were in a cafeteria on the benches that are reserved for elementary school students. Factor in no air conditioning and crowding, then you have the making of a bunch of grouchy, irritable people.

As I was thinking about how to put exactly what I was feeling into words, two of my favorite shows came to mind: Star Trek: The Next Generation & Seinfeld, because the situations were so similar. While these two don’t seem to have a lot in common, bear with me. As usual, I will bring it around.

In one of my favorite sci-fi shows, Star Trek:TNG, we viewers are allowed to hear a conversation between the Captain and his adviser regarding his upcoming meeting with an alien race. The adviser tells him to insult the aliens first, before beginning any type of negotiations.

Basically the conversation between the two goes like this: “Are you sure that’s the right thing to do?” asks Captain Picard.

“Of course,” replies his adviser. “That’s their culture, and in order to garner any type of respect from them, you have to open with an insult.”

“Okay,” replies the captain, “as you wish”.

My situation also reminded of an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is stuck in a restroom stall that has run out of tissue. She politely asks the woman next to her if she can spare some tissue.

“No,” comes the reply, “I sure can’t”.

“Not any? Can you just give me a couple squares? Can you spare a square?” asks Elaine.

“No. Sorry!”

Well, Elaine got her back, but good. A couple of days later, Read More »

What’s Up With That?

I don’t know what’s going on with the feed stats, because I’ve noticed that a couple of people added. Yet, it doesn’t show up to the left. The number of readers haven’t gone up for a couple of months even though a couple of people have added.

I asked this question a while ago, but I have to ask again, “What’s up with that?”

The Time Is Not There Anymore………

Let me start by saying that I, like many others, do not care for too much change. I hate it when something that’s been there forever is suddenly not there anymore. What am I talking about? I’m talking about the time announcement service.

Let’s begin at the beginning, shall we? Just a few minutes ago, I was lying on the couch and did not feel like getting up to look at the clock. So, I did something that I used to do a long time ago… I called the time (853-1234). Oh, my goodness! Boy did I get the shock of my life. While I listened to the recording, I was incredulous. I didn’t hear:

At the tone, the time will be 4:08: 10 seconds.

No. This is what I heard:

Effective Sept. 19, 2007, the time announcement information service has been discontinued. We apologize for any inconvenience.

My hear was broken when I heard that. What am I going to do when the time changes? What am I going to do when I don’t feel like getting up off the couch again?

Of course, I’m just kidding about the last two questions, but seriously, I am going to miss that service. I remember calling it since I was little. But I guess that everything has to change some time or another.

Oh, To Be A Kid Again!

I love that children are so honest. People say that little kids are cruel because they say how they feel. I love it They’re so honest with themselves and everyone around them. Life is so much simpler when you’re a kid. I would take the opinion of a kid over an adult any day. Why??? Because a little kid will tell you, not what you want to hear, but what you need to hear. Although there are some adults out there who will do this also, for the most part, it’s a little kid who will tell you the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

I wrote/said all that to say that I am still harping on this struggling thing that I’m dealing with. It’s like the same thing, but in a different capacity. I’m talking about feeling guilty for the way that I feel. I don’t give myself permission to feel the way that I feel.

The other day I wrote about giving myself permission to do something different. Today, I give myself permission to feel how I feel- no matter what it is. Even the negative stuff. As of today, I give myself permission to be a kid again!

Guess How Smart I Am…

Guess how smart I am???

(I am laughing so hard as I type this!)

I am so smart that I thought it was Saturday. Let me begin my story by saying that I came home from work and took a nap. Okay, that being said, now I shouldn’t sound so crazy as I tell this story.

My little boy and girl came in my room and woke me up to talk to me. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 7:00. Since I was still in a sleepy haze, I thought that it was 7:00 a.m. and that I was running late.

“David, get dressed,” I said.

Mom, it’s Saturday. We don’t have to go anywhere.

“Okay”, I said sarcastically. If you want it to be Saturday, you let it be Saturday, but for me it’s Friday!

He and Phillise tried in vain to convince me that it was still Friday, but I just wouldn’t hear it. As they left the room, I began to wonder if I’d slept for twelve straight hours. Had I?

No, I hadn’t. I’d only slept for about three hours.

Yeah, that’s how smart I am!!!

Midnight Thinking!

What is midnight thinking? Well, it is a term I made up (although I’m sure someone else thought of it also) when I was thinking about how you think that an idea is so brilliant. At midnight!!! That is, until you wake up the next morning and try to read it. You’re like, what the hell did I write? It makes no sense now, but last night it was brilliant.

confused-look.jpgWell, it really wasn’t. You were just sleepy, typing with one eye open. Yeah, that’s me. I have been doing a whole bunch of that lately. Hopefully I’ll catch up with my work and not have to do too much midnight thinking or writing.

Now that you know, you can sleep better, right? Well, I know I will.

So, until next time people!

The Day Is Over!

I did not want to go to work today. My hair was crazy. I had nothing that I wanted to wear. I was grouchy, etc., etc.
I am so happy that the day is over. I was actually having nightmares about going to school with my hair sticking straight up. My hair looks so crazy from a week of being sick and laying on the couch. I really need a hair appointment.
First of all, I did not think that I would make it through the day. When you’re looking forward to the end of the day when it’s 5:30 a.m., that is so not a good sign.

But, I am out of work, I am out of class, and at home. On that note, I am on my way to sleep.

So, until next time people!

Random Facts About Me

These are some random facts about me:

  1. I have the worst cruch on actor Hill Harper. He’s so brilliant. He has three degrees. Two of which are from Harvard.
  2. I sometimes want to beat my teenaged sons up. I still love them, but that teenage angst is sooooooo overwhelming at times.
  3. I love having a little girl. She’s so girly. She loves to dress up and play with dolls; everything I love.
  4. I wanted a little girl for 10 years before I had her.
  5. In October, it will be 20 years that I’ve been with my husband.
  6. I sometimes count my husband as one of my kids.
  7. My husband thinks he invincible. That’s how he broke his leg in three places recently, which required surgery to repair.
  8. I cannot wait for summer vacation.
  9. I am hoping that my next year teaching will be better than this year.
  10. I stop talking to a former good friend of mine that I’ve known for 22 years. There was no particular reason. We just lost what it was we had. I saw her again tonight. It wasn’t the same though. I remember when we would just laugh for hours over stupid stuff. I don’t know what happened. We just stopped talking. It used to make me really sad to think about. It doesn’t anymore. I don’t know which one is sadder.

Riding my pink Huffy!

I have been such a little complainer and whiner lately. I don’t like being like that. Even though that is what I revert to when I get stressed, I don’t like it. It is not one of my better character traits. So, I thought I’d take a break and write about a time when I was happy and not complaining. So here goes:

I remember when I was about 8 years old. I got a new pink Huffy. I thought it was quite possibly the best day of my 8 year old life.

In front of the Christmas tree was the most beautiful sight to me. All of my friends had Huffys , but me. I felt so left out. Not anymore. Now I was in the loop.

I had myself a pink Huffy!

The pink leather nearly rectangular seat was the perfect fit. The light pink handle bars were the perfect size for me to reach over to have perfect control of my prized possession.

My dad adjusted the seat to just the right height. I couldn’t wait to ride it. As I hopped on it, I had a feeling of complete freedom as the wind whipped through the air and slapped me in the face as I gleefully rode my brand new, pink Huffy bike. In my mind I said a silent thank you to my dad as I rode off into the sunset. (Just kidding)!

Oh, life was good!

Oh, that effing word…

Yes, I know, this is a site about being a mom, and my first year of teaching. However, it is also about random stuff. So something random I want to talk about is that effing word- the “f” word. I love this word. It is the perfect word to let out frustration.

Example: I hate this effing job, or I can’t effing do this, or I am so effing frustrated. (Believe me, I use the last one a lot because I am so effing frustrated.)

This one word helps to relieve so much stress. I feel so free when I use it because I know that it’s forbidden. I love the way it rolls off my tongue. The way the words hit the air. The shock on someone’s face who isn’t used to hearing it. The overall shock value. It’s priceless!

It’s my go-to word when I need to release some pent up frustration. Here’s to that effing word! Cheers!

Until next time people!

Happy Friday!

Hello everyone. This was a long week. I am happy that it’s over. I need some rest. I have barely had rest the whole week. I am badly in need of rest.

Oh, my oldest son, Sam, got a job yesterday. I was supposed to go grocery shopping, but my middle son, Dakota, had to be picked up as well from his internship. By the time I finished picking up both boys, it was almost 8:00, since Costco closes at 8:30, there was not way I was going to make it. I did make it to the .99 store to get popsicle sticks for my students’ project. They’re doing it now! I guess I’d better help. So, until next time!

What I Want Doesn’t Exist!

I have discovered, much to my chagrin, that what I want either does not exist or I just haven’t found it yet. I am talking about my perfect, ideal job. My perfect, ideal job would be one that would:

  • allow me the freedom that I desire, which means not having to be at work every single day.
  • Random days would be nice.
  • I would like to start later than 9:00 a.m.
  • I would like to get paid twice what I get paid now.
  • It would provide great health benefits.
  • I would still get long, paid vacations.

Now, do you see why I say that it doesn’t exist.

Until next time!

I Got The Writing Bug Again!

I have been up for a couple of hours. I fell asleep while trying to finish the reading for my methods class. I knew that I had to finish the reading and write a reflection paper on the chapter that I read, so I woke up. I just finished. I am so happy about that. I’m also very excited. I love writing. I think this is what re-energized me for school.

I was feeling a little bit overwhelmed as I thought about all the assignments that were due. I didn’t turn in an assignment for last week. I did not remember that it was due. I did, however, do an extra assignment. I know, smart wasn’t it? I wonder if I get extra credit for that! Probably not. Oh well. At any rate, I got a little extra practice writing. C’est la vie! There’s nothing I can do about it now.

Now, getting back to the lecture at hand. I am excited about writing again. I have definitely been bitten by the writing bug again. If I have the time    can make the time When I make the time (Of course I don’t have the time. What? Are you kidding me), I will go back to posting multiple times a day. Oh, that would make me so happy when I first started blogging. If something came to me, I wrote it down.

It looks like I will be going to another Post-a-holic meeting. So, until next time people. Hasta la bye-bye!

Helpless Me!

I have been feeling so helpless lately. I had to leave work two times last week. One time I was dizzy; the other I passed out.

I went to Urgent Care last week, but was still dizzy. The problem: The doctor prescribed Meclizine for me. When I went to pick it up, the pharmacist @ Kaiser West L.A. told me that it was an antacid, or maybe she said an anti-emetic. I tried to clarify the situation but I obviously didn’t get enough because I ended up thinking that the medicine was something that I had at home in my medicine cabinet.

Outcome: I didn’t get the medicine, since I thought it wasn’t necessary. Consequently I had to return to Urgent Care last night.

Reason: I fainted @ work and needed a note to return to work.

Since I didn’t want to go to work and pass out again, I thought it best to stay home and rest. I couldn’t get the medicine from Kaiser. I ended up getting it from Rite Aid. It took about 4 hours to kick in but it finally did. I am so happy that I am not dizzy anymore. That is such a helpless feeling that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

Now I can return to work tomorrow without worrying about passing out in front of the children again. I am feeling so much better. I do not want to miss anymore days of work.

Enough about me. On to other things. Until next time people!

What’s In A Name?

I found this site that tells you the meaning of your name. Here’s the meaning of my name. If you would like to check it out, here is the website:

***What Leila Means***

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don’t get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It’s easy to get you excited… which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don’t stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are usually the best at everything … you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic “Type A” personality.

What’s Your Name’s Hidden Meaning?

    Looking Back On 2007

    I have to say I am not sad to see 2007 leave. It was a year or great ups and down. I achieved one of my long term goals of graduating with a Bachelor of Arts in Human Development from Azusa Pacific University. My oldest son graduated from high school and started college. My little girl started kindergarten. I started grad school. I started my first year of teaching.
    On the downside, my credit rating is not so good. I don’t even think that I could get a car loan right now. But you know what? Things will be okay. They always are. It’s all about knowing and believing that God has our back. Our plans are totally different than God’s plans.

    I heard this saying somewhere, but don’t know where. It goes that if you want to make God laught, tell him what your plans are.

    I do believe that I made God laugh a few times. Until next time people!

    Back In The Day

    I was just sitting here thinking about how insecure and not confident I used to be. I was watching the movie “The Wood” and it took me back to that time. Junior High School. Back when schools were called Junior High School instead of Middle School. I was a wreck. Somehow, I got it in my head that I wasn’t good enough. That no matter how hard I tried or how much I did that it wasn’t good enough.

    I didn’t like myself much at all. Then I started thinking about now. Now, I am so confident and secure. I am wondering how did I get from that point, of being a self-conscious, insecure wreck to the confident, secure woman that I am now.

    It had to do with getting to know myself. What I would and would not accept from myself and others.

    I observed those who I thought seemed to exude the confidence that I so badly wanted to have. I surrounded myself with people who had qualities that I felt that I needed to make what I considered a complete person. At the time however, I didn’t know that that was what I was doing. I only knew that I was attracted to what these people had.

    Even though I was flying blind, you don’t have to. Learn from other people’s mistakes and experiences. I didn’t know how to do that. I didn’t even know what questions to begin to ask. Luckily, I’m here for you so you don’t have to.


    natasha2.jpgFeel the rain on your skin
    No one else can feel it for you
    Only you can let it in
    No one else, no one else
    Can speak the words on your lips
    Drench yourself in words unspoken
    Live your life with arms wide open
    Today is where your book begins
    The rest is still unwritten

    Unwritten, by Natasha Bedinfield has been stuck in my head all week. This song being stuck in my head said to me that there are so many things that have yet to be fulfilled; so many things that are yet up to me.

    I fell in love with this song when I first heard it. The lyrics are fresh and challenging. They are a direct challenge to everyone listening to live life to its fullest.

    I identify with this song so strongly because I believe that almost everything has a meaning and significance. To me, this song is telling me to get rid of my fear and my old and outdated beliefs.

    I have a big job ahead of me. I know that no one else can do the job that I’m supposed to do. Here’s to living that impossible dream! The dream that only I can make come true.

    My words, deeds, actions, thoughts and dreams are as yet still unwritten. I’m the determiner of my own destiny. I’ve got to write them and write them well.

    Letting Go!

    It’s a sad fact of life that we have to let go of things that are near and dear to us. All things, no matter what it it, must come to an end. It’s especially sad when it’s a longtime friendship or marriage.


    I was just thinking about the roles that people play in our life. Some people are there for a lifetime, while some are there for a few months. They can disappear just as quickly as they came.

    When something ends, don’t take it personally.

    That’s what I have to keep telling myself so I won’t.

    It, whatever IT was, simply ran its course. When it’s time for something to end, it just does.

    So, when it’s time to let go of something, don’t make a scene. Don’t be a drama queen. It is just time for that relationship to end. Do it with dignity. Let go!

    Deciding To Get Serious!

    I have been such a slacker. I’ve barely been studying or doing my reading. Well, everything caught up to me for my mid-term. I got a “B”. While this may not seem like a big deal, it is. It was stuff that I already knew. I made simple mistakes. I was so mad at myself. So, I have finally decided to get serious and study like I used to. Here’s to no more “B’s, only “A’s”!

    I Just Sold Myself!

    “Call me a prostitute because I just sold myself,” I told my husband when I came home from my job interview yesterday.

    “Okay, that didn’t come out right,” I said.

    What I meant to say is that I potentially talked myself into a job. I sold my skills and qualifications to the Assistant Principals like a pro. I was so proud of myself because I didn’t have to lie. I just answered the questions the best way that I knew how. There was no need to lie because if I did, I would be selling someone else, not myself. I can only be me and answer the way that I would answer. Can you imagine how duped the person who hired me would feel if I answered like someone else instead of myself? Who would they be hiring? Me or the person I’m impersonating?

    First of all, I have way too much pride to try to act like someone else. I’m not in junior high school anymore. I tell myself that I’m a full grown woman. I even act like one sometimes. So why in the world would I want to sell someone else when I’m the best ME that I can be, and the right one for the job.

    All that to say, just be you. No one else can do it better!

    I’m Not Signing That!

    “Nice try, but no dice,” I said to my 16 year old son Dakota as he tried to shove a paper in my face to sign as I was walking out the door.

    My children know the rules. I don’t sign anything in the morning.Why?
    Because I was a teen-ager before and I tried the same thing: trying to get my mother to sign something that I did not want to explain.

    He had all weekend to give me said paper, yet he chose not to. Well, I’m thinking, there has to be a reason for this attempted deception.
    What is it the reason, you ask?

    He was trying to get said paper signed because he got a “D” in his history class.
    This is unacceptable on so many levels.
    First, because this boys’ scores on standardized tests are all Proficient to Advanced. Secondly, he did so well on his PSAT that an organization contacted me so that he could join them and see the world.
    I could go on and on but I’m not. You get the picture!
    He already doesn’t get to watch t.v. or play video games during the week. Now, that privilege is going to be taken away on the weekends. Plus we are upping his daily study time.
    So anytime any of my children ask me in the morning, “Can you sign this mom?”
    My answer is always a resounding NOOOOOO! I’m not signing that!

    Secret (Social) Agent (Of Change) Man!

    ***I couldn’t decide on the title to this post. I was torn between six possibilities: A pile of sh#* by any other name, Reverse racism- what is that?, Secret (social) agent (of change) man?, Call it what it is, Prejudice Hurts!, or finally Education- Is it the Great Equalizer? Of course, I finally decided on Secret (social) agent (of change) man! because it says exactly what I want to say.***

    Now on with the story


    Hey, does anyone out there remember this show from 2000 called “Secret Agent Man,” starring Dondre Whitfield, Dina Meyers, and Costas Mandylor? It was about these secret agents who did impossible tasks, usually all in the name of justice. They were there to help punish those who would commit crimes against humanity.

    What happened to them and people like them? Why aren’t there any people like that in real life? If they were here in real life, would they punish those who unfairly persecute those who are weaker and less knowledgeable than themselves? Would they be there to soothe the hurt caused by prejudice? Would it matter who the perpetrator is or what color they are?

    To answer the question, “No, it wouldn’t matter where it was coming from”. Prejudice hurts no matter who does it or where it comes from. I’ve personally been a victim of prejudice many times. I can tell you that it does not feel good.

    One of the times that I was in the uncomfortable position of being witness to reverse racism, I realized that it doesn’t matter who’s doing it, it stinks regardless. Human feelings are involved, and they don’t have a color.

    Actually, once you think about it, can it be called reverse racism just because a White person was the recipient of the treatment by a Black person? Isn’t racism racism? Call it what it is.

    A pile of sh#* by any other name…

    One time in particular that “reverse racism” happened before my eyes, a while ago, I was at this school and worked with a teacher who just happened to be a white woman. She was a very good teacher; she knew her job well. However, there were certain people who wanted her job. They thought that she didn’t work hard enough, so they decided that her job was the one they wanted. They then proceeded to tell the Principal that they wanted said job. To which the Principal agreed that said person in question should have it. Never mind that the white woman didn’t do anything wrong. Never mind that she’s very good at her job.

    “Let’s just push her out because she’s white,” said unfair people.Read More »