I’m on a roll. I’ve been inspired by my friend, Jeanette Espinoza, author of Jeanette’s Jewels, one of the most inspirational books you can read.
I found this quote.
***WARNING- This post is long ***
Yeah, about that title! I’m sure that I shared this before, but I’m going to share it again- I don’t like crying in public. Well, let me correct that. I didn’t used to like crying in public. After today, it doesn’t bother me. Part of what changed is that I’m coming into my own. I’ve been going through an awakening. I see more, I feel more, and I have been sharing more. I’ve gotten more in touch with my feelings. So, things that used to bother me, don’t bother me anymore.
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There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: THE FEAR OF FAILURE!
It’s synchronicity that I found this quote by e.e. cummings because this year has been all about me becoming the ME I intended to be when I was younger. It seems that when you state your intentions and decide to become who you were meant to be, then things begin to happen.
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
It’s that time of year again when I have downtime and really reflect on my school year.
Have you ever had a problem with your students becoming too comfortable in your class? Well, I have! You know what- the fault is all mine. I became too comfortable with them. I would talk to them throughout class; I would accept their excuses; I would get mad at the other teachers for holding them to a higher standard!
Now that I look back on it, I can see where I failed. I had to reflect on their behaviors as I reflected on mine. Going into the next school year, I am going to set boundaries and enforce them religiously. I’m the one who controls my life by making decisions that lead me to being my best self.
If it’s too be, it’s up to me!
For as long as I can remember, I’ve listened to really sad songs. I think it was because I was afraid to be happy. I didn’t even realize they were really sad until one of my students told me that the song that I loved was really depressing. Depressing?!?! Until then I didn’t connect the two.
After she said that, I started paying attention to my song choices. Sure enough, they were mostly sad and depressing. Almost all of them.
Do you think I changed my playlist then? Nope, I didn’t. Wanna’ know why! I hadn’t changed my way of thinking. Until now!
A couple of months ago, I attended an event through L.A.U.S.D. with Siedah Garrett (writer of Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror” & “I Just Can’t Stop Loving You”) as one of the featured performers. She told the story of how she came to write the song, “Answer’s Always Love”.
I know that I keep using this phrase, but I vibed with her explanation and her song so much. I paid full attention to the song as she sang. I was mesmerized. Right then and there, I decided to change my playlist to suit my changed mindset.
As an added bonus, here’s a poem I wrote in my upcoming book of poetry. Like to hear it, hear it goes:
I Changed My Playlist
My playlist, once so full of sad songs
used to depress me.
But those songs do not represent me
or my way of thinking anymore.
My way of looking at things shifted.
I’m no longer sad, bitter, hurt, or afraid.
While Keyshia Cole’s “Let It Go”
And Mary J. Blige’s “Not Gon’ Cry”
used to be on repeat,
Now, the lyrics to Frankie Beverly’s “We Are One”
and Siedah Garrett’s “The Answer’s Always Love!”
Speaks to me.
Of necessity, I chose to limit my exposure to songs that kept me
angry, bitter, hurt, & afraid.
While listening to sad songs.
I was perpetually in an unproductive state of mind
that did not serve my desire to move forward
When your mindset shifts
and you’re ready to move on and
become a better you,
the way out can be as simple
as changing your playlist!
© Original poetry by Carole L. Banks